…then Mario stopped running to the right, and turned to stare closely, directly at the screen. And I mean really close. As Mario’s face became bigger, his eyes were black with red pupils, and he was crying blood! But this blood was more realistic than any blood you’d be able to see on a TV screen; it looked like hyper-realistic blood was coming out of Mario’s eyes!!1!

I’ll never forget that weird Mario cartridge that strange old man gave me at that garage sale… Who knows where it is now.