Wife-sharing seems to have cuckolding almost as a co-requisite. I seek to share and swap my partner as a Dominant kink, having her do kinky stuff for my entertainment and because it merely crossed my mind. I’m not into humiliation, nor is my partner. Yet it seems difficult to find share/swap dynamics without the cuckold aspect.
For those with swap and share kinks, how many find the humiliation aspect appealing or unappealing? And our particular flavor can’t be all that rare, right? Non-cuckold sharing folk, let’s see a show of hands!
You must log in or # to comment.
I was talking about this recently with some friends and my husband. A friend of mine was under the belief that the wife fucking anyone else was automatically cuckolding.
I spent a while explaining that the two are not the same, and that humiliation can be part of it for either party or neither.
A man could “force” his wife to fuck other men (or women) for his own enjoyment to humiliate and objectify her, or she could fuck other people to humiliate him, or they could fuck other people to entertain and amuse their partner because it’s fun.
I don’t have a jealous bone in my body and just… like the idea of my husband fucking other women. There isn’t an element of humiliation or shame in it for me, I just like that he feels good, like sharing, like fucking in pretty much any combination.
You’re in the minority, but definitely not alone.
By definition, a person who’s partner sleeps with someone else is a cuckold but that isn’t necessarily related to the cuckoldry fetish.
*only if it violates the agreements of the relationship with respect to monogamy.
Exactly, this would be the case in a monogamous relationship, but I don’t think is true in the case of non-monogamous relationships.
I am not attacking you, but just curious why we still use the phrase “sleeping with”? No one is sleeping with anyone they are fucking
Wouldn’t a swinger club offer what you’re looking for?
Quite probably. Two problems with that. We live on a sailboat far from any lifestyle clubs; this introduces all kinds of logistics complexities in getting to the LS clubs. Sure, that’s an “Us” problem. We’ve gone to LS clubs and meetups, but our experience has very much been that it’s a hookup scene. We tend to be a bit more demisexual and want a connection with our fuckbuddies. Quality over quantity, ya know? We also tried a few LS sites and apps. Those have been attempted scam, photo-collectors, hookup scene, wannabe bulls/cuckqueens (no, I don’t want to humiliate your husband while we fuck), or some combination of those.
We’re willing to hold out to find exactly the dynamic we want and explicitly indicate in our LS profiles.
Not a fan of the humilation stuff myself. My partner and I are firmly in the stag/vixen label. It’s so unfortunate that it feels impossible to find good porn that doesn’t mention the humiliation or include racial elements. Nothing makes me nope out faster than all the racist cuck porn out there
I like sharing my partners and myself, not merely as kink but as part of our polyamorous life. Cuckolding for me has an aspect of negativity, like degredation, that is absent from how we do it. When I see my partners having sex with others, Im just happy, even if I dont join in.
We are also not really into humiliation (bit of namecalling is fine), but the really “hard stuff” we leave for others to enjoy. I know that when I love a person, love sharing them so others can enjoy their compaby as well and maybe see why I hold this person dear so much.
Its also probably really hard to cuck someone who cheerleads you enthusiastically during the act, instead of having to “endure” the whole thing.
I don’t like the humiliation aspect.
Wives/GFs who are comfortable with the husbands/BFs fucking another woman are the sexiest kinds of women out there.
Same goes for the men, they’re the sweetest. Which is why I don’t like the humilation aspect, just like sex in general, it’s supposed to be enjoyed & humiliation just sours it.
I’m with you. I just love seeing my wife experiencing pleasure and find the idea of someone else helping her with that to be really hot. I’m not jealous and am not looking for humiliation.
When the other guy is fucking your wife what position are they in that gets you the hottest?
My partner and I have done various things and known a number of people in that sort of world. I can only think of one couple we met at a club who were into that specific aspect. It’s not something I could participate in, people can do whatever but I personally find it bizarre and repulsive. Maybe things have changed in recent years or my limited experience isn’t representative, but I always thought it was mostly a porn thing that barely exists in reality.
I’m basically a “switch” when it comes to sharing. I like the idea of getting cucked, of being more dominant where I basically control who, when, and how she fucks, or in the middle (threesomes, etc).
You could look into Stag & Vixen or just plain swinging/swapping. Not sure if there’s a name for the man being dominant while sharing his sub wife. For whatever reason, the cuck kink just dominates when it comes to porn and online kink culture.
I do really like the idea of being dominant and basically humiliating her instead by turning her into nothing but a fucktoy for other guys for my entertainment. I also really like when she takes control and dominates me mentally and emotionally too.
I recently learned about the stag and vixen terms while looking into the same question. It is nice to have a word for it.
I also enjoy some dominance of my partners when having sex with other people, just as I do in other sexual contexts. But my most prominent feeling when my partners have had sex with other people, with or without my involvement, has just been a joyous “Hell yeah, we got some! Go team!”
I only do couple swaps. And we always let the women determine the flow of the action. They become co directors and me and the other guy just follow their commands. I wouldn’t say that was humiliation, but sometimes the women will have me and the other guy stand next to each other and comment on our cocks. In a way making fun of them. I don’t mind it at all. It’s fun. At certain points in the action one of the woman will stop and take a few minutes to direct her BF on how to fuck the other woman. And she will ask the other woman things like, “are you enjoying (ted) shoving his cock in and out of you”. All just lots of fun dirty talk that really keeps the guys nice and hard. The finale is always the women coordinating me and the other guy finishing them off at the same time or close to it. Many times I will be next to the other guy as we both plow the girls doggy. We signal each other when we both know we are really close and then proceed to shoot our loads at almost exactly the same time. Exhausted we both step back and move positions to behind our GF and watch the other guy’s cum oozing out.
Not going to lie, that sounds very hot.
But I like only cum tributed someone’s gf on here once, and feel kind of iffy about doing that to someone’s wife.
Guy talking about me in that way was also really surreal. He thought I was a bull, and was talking about CNC. Meanwhile, I was submissive as fuck, and looking just to please whatever fantasy they had.
The reaction to seeing the sheer quantity of cum was hilarious.
I’ve done this plenty, mostly MFM not D/s related, but two ways that worked for me in that way -
Once with a subby guy, he made me mini-Dom, which I am uncomfortable with, sort of middle management, lol.
And one glorious time, both guys collaborating and using me.
I think the sharing -as-dominance can be tricky, in a relationship. But if she likes MFM and you give it to her as a treat, that’s so nice. Confirms she is slutty, so you can tease her, and you get what you want. That’s what we did more, the actual sex was more equal, or me asking for things.
I go with the flow. If a couple wants the humiliation aspect, I can be the dominant/bull to do that, but I prefer playtime to be fun for all and easy going. Hands duly shown 👋
This used to actually be fairly normal (at least, within the realm of taboo social sex activities), its where the term ‘swingers’ originally came from, way back in the 50s/60s.
Basically, two hetero couples would just agree to swap partners, and usually have a one on one time, seperately.
… My… grandparents once actually mentioned to me that they did a version of this called a ‘key party’, which I think is actually basically depicted in Mad Men.
Big group meetup, bunch of couples, all the guys put their car keys into a bowl.
Fairly standard 50s/60s grilling and drinking ensues, but the party ends with the wives picking random car keys, and going home with whoever owns that car, then they all make phone calls and get picked up the next day, by roughly midday.
So again, not really the modern, more humiliation /dom / sub oriented aspect of cuckoldry.
Like, technically, sure, all the men involved are cucks in the sense that they’re willingly letting another man fuck their wife, but they weren’t usually present for it, that would have marked you as an extreme weirdo back then… oh right and other part of the deal is you are also fucking someone else’s wife.
So yeah, this used to be a thing, fairly different from the modern conception of cuckoldry.
It wasn’t ‘group sex’, ie, more than 2 people.
It was many pairs, temporarily repairing.
I guess kinda like how dance halls used to work back then, when that was a fairly common social thing to do.
This used to actually be fairly normal (at least, within the realm of taboo social sex activities), its where the term ‘swingers’ originally came from, way back in the 50s/60s.
According to “The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers” (Gould, 1999), key clubs originated with WWII pilots, but entered the lexicon as key parties in the 50s and 60s. However, all the academic study is based on secondhand accounts. It’s the kind of thing that leads me to wonder if “key party” was some kind of Urban Dictionary expression with someone making up the term for giggles. The expression entered the lexicon and some people then tried it out, i.e. the vocabulary preceded the social trend.
Non-monogamy does seem to be the human norm, and it’s a bummer there’s so much unnecessary taboo and complexity wrapped up in non-monogamy.
I also fully accept that we’re just not moving in the correct circles for our goals. Working on it!
Ah, that would make more sense with the specific origin of the ‘key party’.
My grandpa used to be fairly important in early Boeing’s middle, then upper management.
He once personally met… well… sort of…
He at one point met with Howard Hughes, but in a bathroom at Boeing Field.
No, not gay stuff: Hughes had flown up from Cali (he was a pilot so he just flew himself around) with a briefcase with… presumably business documents, possibly blueprints, and had instructed Boeing to send somebody to go to that bathroom, at a specific time, and … slide briefcases between stalls, and then leave at seperate times, as if nothing had occured.
… And my grandpa got picked to be Boeing’s man for that.
… Yeah.
So what I’m trying to say is my grandpa was in the Navy, was fairly important to early Boeing… knew a lot fly boys and people generally in aviation.
Makes sense he’d go their key parties, lol.
Like me, (though he would not have realized it), grandpa was autistic as fuck, quite often very blunt, quite often not really caring about many social norms.
Like, he told us all about the key party thing as casual conversation over a big family Easter dinner.
When I was maybe… 10? 11?
He genuienly did not think it was that innapropriate, figured I was old enough at that point.
I’ve never seen my Nana blush more than that dinner. She practically hissed at him.
… He is also the reason that elsewhere on lemmy, I have gotten angry at various academic definitions for 40s/50s era slang terms…
Not only because I can find examples in extant texts and argue my different usages … but because I was quite enamored with WW2 history as a young kid, and my grandpa was happy to tell me about the era, as he managed to not get PTSD, … I’d just ask him about various slang terms I was reading about in old newspapers and interviews, propoganda reels and such.
He was a land station based radio operator for the Navy… he basically just lived in Hawaii in near total safety for the whole war, him and Nana would frequently winter there, untill she passed away, at least.
I love when old(er) folk have great adventures and anecdotes to share. And proceed to share them.
He at one point met with Howard Hughes, but in a bathroom at Boeing Field. No, not gay stuff
That qualification gave me a good chuckle. Thanks, cheers, and enjoy your holiday!
It’s only cuckolding if your spouse is being fucked without your permission. If you agree with it, it’s not adultery and thus not cucking.
