• 9 Posts
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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: June 23rd, 2026

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  • Same boat. I was increasingly exhausted from pushing myself and masking who I was for decades. I decided one day to just be myself, I couldn’t take it anymore.

    Lost almost everything: Job, life-long partner, house, etc. Those things simply weren’t compatible with the new me. They tried to cram me back into the box of conformity, but I don’t fit anymore. I think at some level I knew that, which is why it took me so long; I was clinging desperately to the life I had. Had to throw it all away and jump into the abyss.

    Hard to call it a good decision, but I’m still here, and I’ll do it better this time.

    Edit: realised I forgot to answer your main question. After a long time of having nothing, I started discovering things about myself. Oh, I like this. I hate that. X feels more like me than Y. Illegal thought crimes for my entire life, that I’m allowed to think about now. After a while you figure out who you really are, not who you had to be.



  • Key quotes:

    “What our research shows is that compared to a single-event witness, a repeated-event witness tends to report more gist-like details, the overall details of what typically would happen, and the things that remain constant between the episodes,” said Helen Paterson, an associate professor in forensic psychology at the University of Sydney. “Sometimes they confuse one episode with another.”

    Paterson’s work has also found that repeated-event witnesses are perceived to be “less honest, less cognitively competent, and less overall credible than the single-event witnesses – which is pretty concerning that the more repeatedly you are victimised, the less credible you appear to others”.

    "in trial, it’s defence 101 to say … they’ve made this inconsistency, therefore their whole memory is unreliable,”





  • I always thought this stance to be interesting, because it reminds me of soldiers in a conflict. The arguments are that the enemy rank and file are just doing their jobs, they have a family, the actual evil bigwig is out of reach, etc.

    But also, are you just going to do nothing and let them steamroll you? They’re choosing to continue to work at that business, and are the only “frontline” that you can interact with. The fact that the business made a policy specifically addressing this common complaint, means it actually reached the ears of someone in power.

    I’m not encouraging violence or anything of course. But, by design, there’s nobody else to voice your displeasure to. The only other option is to quietly accept their changes and be ignored.

    If they didn’t want angry people calling, maybe they shouldn’t make terrible decisions?