Background: My family (partner and our now ~4 year old) moved from US (Texas) to Madrid a year ago on a Highly Qualified Worker’s visa through my partner. We left mostly due to my urging. We spent over a year getting our ducks in a row, (including several moves along the way), and now need to decide what’s next. We haven’t had the chance to “settle down” anywhere and it’s wearing on us emotionally and financially. Partner’s mom/grandma feel in limbo. Partner’s main concerns about staying in Spain seem to be financial/career-based. I feel strongly that I don’t want to live in Texas but can’t think of any other desirable place in the US where the COL wouldn’t put partner in a relatively similar position as he is now. We want to figure out a plan for the future – whether staying in Spain or going back to the US – soon (before kid starts kindergarden).
- Where we live:
- City center, feels exciting and vibrant. Lots to do. Partner likes to be near the action even if he’s not participating.
- Probably paying too much rent/don’t get out much
- Partner:
- Works remotely. Salary cut in half due to location change.
- He’s concerned about being able to save money for the future and also support his mom and grandma (he pays mortgage a house in TX where they live)
- He doesn’t think there’s much room for salary or career growth
- No longer contributing to 401k etc
- Is not learning Spanish but is extroverted and has gotten by pretty well despite
- Loves city living but doesn’t have any friends per se
- Has to work all sorts of hours due to US and abroad teammates
- Me:
- Work remotely as contractor. I have no debt, some savings, and am making a great salary for Spain, average for (Texas)
- Hate working with US clients due to the hours, but it pays
- Like living in Madrid, but think there are way too many people. Miss nature. Hate how hot it gets during the summer. Worried about Climate.
- Reaching C1 level of Spanish reading/writing but still struggle speaking.
- Barely ever leave the house or socialize but not too bothered by it
- My parents live in Texas too but are supporting themselves. I miss them but even when we lived 15 min away I would see them maybe once ever couple of weeks.
- I really like living here, but admit it’s not comfortable. This is, of course, both good (growth) and bad (uncomfortable).
- Kid:
- Picked up Spanish very quickly and seems to really like the daycare/school she’s in (back in TX she used to cry before going to daycare)
- Enjoys walking with the family through the city, the playgrounds, etc
- Misses her grandma/great grandma.
- Has been a great sport about moving so much
- Extended fam:
- OG plan was to move partner’s mom and grandma to Spain too. With his visa, his mom will be easy to get here but his grandma not so much unless she does NLV. Have already discussed with lawyer.
- Both love grandchild a bunch and hate that she’s so far away.
- Partner and I so far have paid for his mom to come out and visit 3x. Tickets not cheap.
- We’ve toyed with idea of living all together, but I really really really don’t want to
We’re currently deciding between (each with its own pros and cons)
- Staying in Madrid and moving somewhere cheaper
- Moving to Oviedo (Northern Spain)
- Moving back to US but, what city/state?
Asking for…
- similar experiences and their outcomes
- advice on how to make a complicated decision that takes into account 5 people’s wants/needs/fears
- what you might do in this situation, open to hearing anything!
Thanks for reading : )
I’m in a similar position, I’m even from Texas too!
What ended up happening was the whole family moved out. My mom, both sisters, bro in law and nephew made the jump a few years after me.
We’re much happier here in Madrid than Texas. I don’t think any of us regret it and we all plan to live here indefinitely.
Also, make sure y’all make it out to the Sierra de Guadarrama as there are great hiking routes to do. Better than any nature options I’ve experienced in Texas minus Big Bend
Yeeehaw! That’s so neat that everyone was able to come over. Did they apply for their own visas or was it family reunification stuff?
If we could just get my partner’s grandma out here the decision would be a lot simpler, I think. Unfortunately that’s a whole other financial/logistical can of worms that we’ve tried to solve but haven’t been able to…
Just googled - Sierra de Guadarrama looks so beautiful! Good to know that’s relatively nearby. I need to get a driver’s license though!
In my case I received residency via Pareja de Hecho with a Spaniard.
My older sis, bro in law and nephew just received permanent residency (which gives them healthcare, right to work, live indefinitely, etc) as they spent 5 years here on the NLV.
My mom and younger sis are here on the NLV as well but am looking to do a family reunificiation type visa (arraigo familiar) so they’re here on the public system faster instead of waiting 4 more years.
Yeah my mom misses my grandma a ton as well, we’ve floated the idea of moving her out here too.
And no need for a car to access Sierra de Guadarrama as there’s public transport options. I usually take bus 691 from Moncloa which drops you off right at puerto de cotos directly next to the start of various hiking trails. The cercanias line C8 takes you to Cercedilla, which gives you access to hiking routes as well as some awesome outdoor pools in the summer: https://maps.app.goo.gl/VCjmMoJg5WJssxTeA
San Lorenzo de El Escorial is another great town to checkout, there are various hiking routes which start right from the town. I did a half marathon trail race out there a few years back and it had some great scenery. Easily accesible by Cercanias or bus as well: https://maps.app.goo.gl/VCjmMoJg5WJssxTeA
Wow, thank you so much!! This is great. Also, I never lived in Houston but have visited several times - I got my green fix by taking strolls thru rich neighborhoods and admiring people’s gardens hahaha. We were in Austin, which does have a fair amount of green stuff but how much I longed for TALL trees, of which I currently get my fix @ Retiro :P