I’ve been abroad for 13 years now. I am an only child and can only spend 2-3 weeks at home per year because of my work. So when my parents visit me, they usually stay 2 weeks and we just chill. I do suffer a lot from expat guilt, those few weeks per year are very valuable to me.

I’ve been with my partner (who is a local) for a while but he only recently met my parents because of the pandemic. He tried learning my language but failed, and my parents barely understand English. Last time we all stayed together for 2 days and it was just awkward. I felt like everyone had the best intentions but my parents weren’t very comfortable, and my partner was awkward too. Because of the language barrier and barely knowing each other, they didn’t really warm up to each other.

I really want to move in with my partner, but I don’t want my parents to feel like guests in our shared flat. I have never lived with a partner before, but i guess i can’t really force him to speak another language or stay elsewhere so I can properly catch up with my parents. It would also be kinda awkward to have my parents to stay in a hotel, because we have so little time together. I don’t know what to do, who to talk to first, or how to solve this.

  • Gemi-ma@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    It’s never going to not be awkward until they all get over the awkward hump of getting to know each other. I think you are over thinking this. Surely your parents want to see you happy with a partner. Any good partner will learn to accept the others parents. They could all end up loving each other if you give them the chance. Maybe you can do activities that overcome the language barriers (movies with subtitles for your partner), games that dont need much talking to understand, walks, cooking meals together.

    I can’t speak spanish but i have a good friendship with my stepmothers spanish brother, and same with her parents. You can understand a lot without saying very much sometimes. It is a bit boring and tedious but you do these things for family!