So this is a serious question that is related to this show.

I’ve never watched the show, but a friend brought it up to me when I told them I had met someone while I was traveling and really hit it off, so I was going to go back and visit them again for a bit longer to see how things go. They excitedly laughed and said that it sounded like “a real life 90 Day Fiance” situation.

The friend explained the basic premise of this show, and said they were excited for me to see what happened. I felt a little weird about the comment, but took it in stride, since this was the first person in a long time I had been excited over.

I just randomly came across this sub and… it seems like this show is somewhat mean-spirited, in that’s it’s kind of making fun of people who are doing outrageous and outlandish types of behaviors on the fringe of societal acceptability. One comment on here said “they are not our best and brightest.”

Was this friend actually insulting me with that comment? I had weird feelings about it, but kept brushing it off as overthinking. But now, I’m really not sure anymore. Thanks in advance.

  • SweetPeaRiaing@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    They just mean it’s like the show in that you have an international relationship. Also, the show hasn’t always been this trashy, there have been plenty of sweet love stories over the years.

  • liberterrorism@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    It’s value neutral, you’re just in a similar situation. Some of the relationships work out well, other times they’re a disaster. It’s more fun to discuss the train wrecks, which is why you see so much of that here.

  • Simonthebullettfreak@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Yes it is. The 90 day cast never does any kind of research on anything, so they always look like complete idiots. For starters.

  • Fluffy_Iron6692@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I don’t think your friend meant any malice by it! It’s a reality show so it’s inclined to show people in toxic situations for views. But, the first couple of seasons of the original show were wholesome and shined the K-1 in a good light. Don’t be offended!

  • Lhamo55@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    As long as they weren’t insisting that you actually apply to be on the show, yes, you’re overthinking.

    They’ve been watching a dumpster fire show based on the same process you and your person are navigating. Now they get to see a real life couple go through the process without cameras, minimal high drama and interfering production storylines and best of all, without being commented on/criticized by daily on the socials by strangers and not so well meaning stalkers who will happily dox you, complain to your employers about your scripted behavior and post pictures of you picking your nose while grocery shopping.

    Wishing you a long happy marriage out of the public eye!

  • Strangbean98@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Nah everyone says it to anyone in an overseas relationship if you watch the show like I do that’s just the first thing you’ll think of in your situation. As someone who’s been watching the show for a few years I actually found myself in a 90 day fiancé situation hahah met my bf on Reddit 😁

  • Different_Pension424@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Now and there are stable couples on the different reality shows. People “like” them, but they are boring and don’t last. One couple I’m thinking about is the gal that became Muslim. After that she met someone online and got together. He became a dentist. There was just a tad drama. But they were lovely and didn’t do continued shows. They were very stable and became successful in the US.

  • Omgusernamesaretaken@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I was a real life 90 day fiancé 😀 the show is heavily produced to have drama and they mostly show some fucked up couples who dont get to know each other properly before filing for their fiancé visas. But dont think much into what your friend said. There is nothing wrong with long distance relationships and i met my now husband due to traveling. I always laugh and joke about being a 90 day fiancé. So go explore and see where the relationship might take you.

  • slavicblonde77@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I don’t think it’s an insult at all. It sounds like she was just referring to the premise of the show and relating it to your relationship

  • agnusdei07@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    No, not an insult. 40 years ago I knew a girl who was 400 lbs, finding no one in the US and met a guy in Ireland, she was a lawyer and he was a–odd jobs/construction, and she brought him here and they have been married and have kids who are adults and they have a happy life. She had gastric bypass when they first came out, lost alot of weight, wanted to cheat on him and live the life she never had; but I convinced to not do that, she gained all the weight (and more) back and then had a lap band and now settled into a good weight for her, maybe 200 lbs. It all happened before 90 day but if it happened now, it would be referenced for certain along with maybe a few more ‘shows’ that I can think of at the moment. :) but not an insult to you, be happy!

  • citronaughty@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I think people who watch the show, whenever they see an American-foreigner pairing, they’re going to think of 90DF, since that’s the premise of 90DF. It probably doesn’t mean anything beyond that.

  • Catiebythesea@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Well, it is like 90 day finance so she right in saying that. Just don’t expect to get proposed to after spending two weeks with them the second time you meet!