I wouldn’t give him one cent since he didn’t have the courtesy and respect to discuss this with her before he arrived there. It’s coming across strongly to me that he’s just there to use her for opportunities in America.

He doesn’t even act as if he likes her, let alone love her. I just don’t understand why Ashley is trying to force this to work. He has a problem with everything she does or says at every turn, it’s obvious he doesn’t like her. He’s contrary just for the sake of being contrary. I’m thinking she’s just tired of being the 3rd wheel with her friend and friend’s husband, and is just desperate for someone. If she’s a witch, I’m surprised she hasn’t put a spell on him to be more tolerable.

It’s ok to do whatever with your own money, but not ok to expect Ashley to support his family

As a first generation American I don’t ever see it as taking advantage. In most cultures, part of the reason why you give up your family is to help support them.

Honestly $300 isn’t unreasonable and it sounds like they had that discussion (when he says I make $600 a month and give at least half to my family). I think Ashley is playing dumb to get sympathy points with friends & family since obviously Manuel is cold.

I do see special scenarios where the American is clearly being taken advantage of. I don’t remember her name is but was some white lady going to Jamaica but ends up sleeping with his cousin? They were definitely taking advantage of her.

But overall, I don’t think Americans should be surprised that their partner needs to send money back home. The only reason I believe this is because this is expected in my culture even as a person born here in the states.

I think Ashley should’ve had that discussion with him before applying for a fiancé visa. She knows he couldn’t work, she knows he’s the sole provider of his family and having money to send is extremely crucial. There’s no food stamps, or food donations like food banks in Ecuador. She’s talking about 90 days isn’t enough to make a decision…the fiancé visa isn’t to make a decision, it’s only to get things together for a wedding. She told USCIS she would be responsible for him and that they are sure about getting married, she didn’t petition for a trial run of her fiancé. Latinos send a lot of money back home, is expected and is understood by many people who married someone in that position.

This is very normal if your someone from a different country. My family is from Morocco and even after 30 years my mom still sends money back. It’s kind of like you made it to America so it’s your duty to support with what you can. My cousin just came here too and is expected to send as well. It’s not like a devious thing though it’s just cause in a lot of other places it’s hard to find work and such and the idea of America is very different in other countries then what we know it to be here. Many people in other countries think we’re all rich so.

I personally think that his kids and extended family are his problem. At the same time fucked up getting with a man with children.

I can’t stand Ashley. She’s terrible. Manuel isn’t a catch but at the same time her problems with him are really just cultural differences.

He has always taken care of his family financially. Why would this change because he moves? Why didn’t she ask about it before starting the visa process?

Ashley is selfish and demeans Manuel at every turn. I can only imagine Manuel is using her for a green card because I can’t see how he could possibly be in love with her.

It comes down to budgeting.

You have to go through your income and expenses with your partner beforehand and realistically determine how much you can afford to send. It might not be as much when you’re on one income than when you have two incomes.

I can almost guarantee that Ashley would’ve been fine with sending money had Manuel been upfront about it from the beginning. She would’ve had time to save and budget accordingly before he arrived to the US… however, she isn’t innocent here either. Did she ask him about sending money before he came to the US? How many of these big and important financial discussions did they have before his K1 was accepted?

It was wrong of Manuel to just spring that on her and without ever asking. He won’t even introduce her to these kids he expects her to support. Most people cannot easily afford an additional $300 bill every month. Why didn’t Manuel plan for it?

That’s on Manuel, imo. He didn’t even tell his mom he was moving to US, so I’d be surprised if he told Ashley how much $$$ she would be on the hook for to support his family.

Hopefully this is all for show, otherwise that’s pretty unfair to his family and Ashley.

I wouldn’t give him a dime in this situation. Dude is shady as hell and won’t even introduce his fiance to his family back home. I also wouldn’t marry him or even talk to him in the first place so there is that.

Mi vida es privada! I think he’s sanky panky.

It’s not Ashley’s problem. He is a dick if he feels entitled to her $$$.

This one is easy, it should be communicated beforehand and the couple has to find a solution.

Manuel is a tool, but it is normal in many cultures to send money home by the “able-bodied” person.

With that said, it is ABSOLUTELY something that should have been discussed earlier. Ashley seems to be trying, but this relationship is so toxic.