In an editorial published last week titled, “If Attitudes Don’t Shift, A Political Dating Mismatch Will Threaten Marriage,” The Washington Post’s editorial board points out that political polarization in this country has reached the point where it is now a prominent, often decisive factor in determining who Americans settle on as their potential mates. They emphasize this trend is now so acute it may actually threaten the institution of marriage as a whole. In particular, it seems that Democratic women are rejecting potential Republican suitors not only for marriage but as relationship material, all across the board. The message the editorial conveys—perhaps hyperbolically, perhaps not—is that as a consequence of this shift in attitudes, marriage itself in this country is in jeopardy.

  • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    As a man, I feel like my perspective hasn’t been fully represented in this editorial. I’d like it to be noted for posterity that men don’t want to marry Trump supporters, either.

    • DevCat@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      It’s worse than that. I’m bi, and I won’t have anything to do with male or female trump supporters.

      I don’t know if it’s just me, but I seem to have noticed a rise in interest in poly arrangements lately. I wonder if there’s any kind of connection there.

      • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I think we can simply conclude that, regardless of gender or sexual attraction, as more and more people are able to openly love whoever they choose, fewer people are choosing to love bigots.

        • proudblond@lemmy.world
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          Yeah, I feel like the stereotypical portrayal of marriage in the 50s through, say, the 80s was not particularly positive. Many people I know would rather be single than be in an awful marriage, myself included. I found a good one but if anything happened to him, at this point I doubt I’d even try dating at all.

          • CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that people are work. So we sit here working 50-60 hour work weeks with one week of PTO and barely enough money to pay for groceries and rent and guess what happens? People get depressed. Discouraged. Exhausted. Sick. Poor. Whatever. The absolute last thing I want to do is have someone tell me about my star sign on tinder and then get stuck in a relationship.

            And as a young person, I feel like the older generation doesn’t get it at all. They didn’t have to meticulously plan their future. They could accidentally have a kid at 18 and still buy a house at 23. They aren’t emotionally compatible with their partners most of the time. They just did what was expected of them pretty much.

      • JoMiran@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’m down for almost anything with almost anyone…just not fascism or fascists. I’m weird like that I guess.

      • ArumiOrnaught@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Bi, poly, married. 0 tolerance. If you’re needing this much trust, then there is no way I could be with someone who doesn’t trust reality. I don’t have time, the mental capacity, or desire to be with someone who probably should be in a special needs group.

        The amount of hand holding and coddling these people need to not throw a fit is crazy. You won’t even get the crazy sex you’d expect from someone that deranged. 2 pumps and they’re going to think they’re champions. No after care, nothing but doggy, they won’t even do the dishes.

        They’re nothing but dead weight in a relationship. A family is a multiple person event. You expect someone who can’t see past their nose to be good in that environment?

        Your best case scenario with dating conservatives is basically with the rapist Brock Turner. He’s at least rich you can mooch off of before…the obvious happens.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Probably not, my polycule doesn’t allow trump supporters. Though it once had a guy who listened to Jordan Peterson until it became clear it wasn’t a phase he could be talked out of

      • CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I want to say that there was a study that was done that said something along the lines of a correlation between cost of living and polyamory. Since more money is required to own a house, etc. that poly relations are a natural byproduct of it.

        Don’t know how true that is or even if I’m remembering properly.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Idk about that article but I do remember an article about the hidden cost of polyamory. Specifically you find yourself going out to nice things more often in the process of prioritizing multiple relationships and that adds up.

      • Ataraxia@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        I think more people are realizing that social norms are loosening and that being restricted by a gender is no longer the norm. I thought I had to be a straight woman. Now I realize I can be what I feel like. If I weren’t in a monogamous hetero relationship I’d be comfortable in a poly relationship IF those involved were the kind of people I could be comfortable around. I only had that happen once and I live with that person. But yeah, it’s nice to know there’s morning unnatural about wanting to have a cuddle session with a man and a woman and we are all best friends and comfortable enough to have some fun.

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    Guys, I’m an old (52) hetero man in a red state (Florida).

    I have had more luck dating in the last 4-years than ever in life. My god. The fine, fine women I’ve met and known (yes, biblically known) has been mind blowing. (Just married one last Friday!)

    But if I had had anything conservative on my dating profiles? Yeah. No. HARD no from these women.

    One time I joked about being a redneck.

    “Uh… Exactly how redneck?”

    “If you’re asking like that? I’m something of a country boy, but I fucking loathe Trump.”

    “Oh. Whew. Just checking.”

  • Chuckles@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I don’t get it. I mean look at all of the dudes in the main photo. All dreamboats.

    Fingers McGee is definitely a keeper. His furrowed brow and lack of wedding ring show he’s definitely on the market. Sure, he could have taken it off because he’s travelling for the rally and is hoping for some fresh rally tail, but he looks so politically engaged he has to be “real”. By bucking the traditional maga red, his bright blue hat he shows he is his own person. He also connects to his roots with a shirt featuring a sweet whitetail ready for mounting.

    Dopey on his left let’s the ladies know he is prepared with two pens in his T-shirt pocket. His four necks shows he can afford groceries in Biden’s economy.

    Just behind Dopey is my pervy 9th grade math teacher that always made comments about his “skivies” and not holding farts in. He’s off the market as he is married to Louise. She’s loves her neighborhood - except that weird Laotian family down the block - and truly believes Thelma Harper from Momma’s Family is a fashion icon.

    To the right is Russian expat, Leonard Chesnakek, aka Lenny Chesney . He loves his folded hat with sunglasses more than his mom’s borsht. He also secretly loves his matching pink shirt and shorts even though he tells his girlfriend of 2 weeks, Mary, he hates them because “they’re gay”. Mary has no idea what’s going on and is wondering when she can go pee.

    To Lefty’s immediate right, we witness Don and Lisa having an existential moment. After 26 years in the military and defending the constitution, the realization that 2 years of retirement and a 10 hour daily dose of FEAUX News might not have been such a good idea.

  • StunningGoggles@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    42% of women voted for Trump. As a left leaning person living in a red state, there are plenty of trump loving women for them to choose from in their 30’s. Republican men in liberal areas are probably going to feel it though lol

    • funkpandemic@lemmy.ca
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      I would guess a large portion of that 42% of women are on the older side, which, for the purposes of this article, would not really be considered peak marriage or dating age.

      • lutillian@sh.itjust.works
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        Some actually notable percentage is probably also older conservative Somali men bringing their wives and voting age daughters and standing over them at the bottom booth. I shit you not, the last election I worked had at least 5 of those come in and sit there repeatedly calling the machine judges over repeatedly asking us who the Republican candidate was so they could instruct their families how to vote. You’re not supposed to watch what someone else is polling, but we also aren’t equipped or staffed to handle someone doing that shit.

  • cogman@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “I worship a racist orange Nazi , why won’t women touch my pee pee?!?!”

  • CherenkovBlue@iusearchlinux.fyi
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    When this editorial came out a few days ago, I decided to cancel my WaPo subscription as the straw that broke the camel’s back. I have been a subscriber for years, but I cannot deal with this ridiculous agenda they are pushing over and over again. Marriage isn’t a default good thing. People should choose if they want to be married or not. If the institution is failing because women are making a feminist choice to take care of themselves, let it fail. They push this line over and over again and as someone who divorced a bad male partner, it’s NOT OK.

      • cogman@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, literal Nazi ideology. Treating women as brood mares to make sure your toxic ideology can continue.

        • Zombiepirate@lemmy.world
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          On no! You can’t call them Nazis or fascists or they’ll become Nazis and fascists out of spite!

          (If I had a dollar for every time I had that convo…)

        • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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          Oh it’s not ideological per se. They just want the labor force to produce more labor units. That’s just business.

          • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            but only white babies… none of those brown people!

            This is one of those things that really is interesting about the labor and capitalistic ideal that we have to have more people to keep the economy going. There are LOTS of people willing to do the low end parts of the economy but that means we have to accept that the color of the average American will get darker.

            Basically they want their cake and to eat it too.

    • Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
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      I don’t agree with how it’s presented in the article, but I do agree that declining marriage rates can be as much of a good sign as much as it’s bad.

      It’s a great thing that more people, especially women, are able to decide if marriage is the right choice for them. It’s a bad thing that for people who are interested in marriage or a lifelong partner, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a partner. There is a loneliness epidemic going on, and it is getting increasingly difficult to get to know people due to rising work hours, burn out, lack of public and walkable spaces, lack of vacation days, rising costs of living, political radicalization, social distancing during covid, mental health decline, dating culture, gendered expectations, and so on.

      It’s not a bad thing that people are remaining single, it’s a bad thing that for some people this choice was made for them due to the circumstances they are in. Ideally, people would get to decide whether they want to stay single or get married. Right now the options are stay single or go through the ever increasing hurdles of finding a partner when you are already struggling to get by yourself.

      When people are happy, have healthcare, affordable housing, and livable wages, marriage is much more affordable. Right now, we have none of that and declining marriage rates are as much a sign that marriage has become optional as it has become non-viable.

  • magnetosphere@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I’m a hetero male. I won’t even date a woman who is a Trump supporter. I’d be extremely suspicious of any woman who hates themselves and others so much, no matter how attractive she seems.

    I would also assume she has little to no respect for medical science. I don’t want to be around, expose my friends and family to (or worse, start a family with) someone who second guesses doctors or distrusts vaccines.

    • be_excellent_to_each_other@kbin.social
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      As a happily married man in my 50s who isn’t dating anyone, if I found myself single again I would drag my penis across broken glass before I’d date a Trump supporter. I would be celibate for the rest of my life and live alone in a shack if the other option was to be involved with a Trump supporter.

      If my wife had gone maga, I’d have gone full intervention. I’m a big believer in letting people be themselves, but there are lines that shall not be crossed.

  • Poggervania@kbin.social
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    Another interesting way to read that headline is “Jeff Bezos is very worried that American Women don’t want to marry Trump supporters.”

    Because, y’know, he owns The Washington Post.

    EDIT: tfw Jeff Bezos downdoots you twice

  • ladicius@lemmy.world
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    Something remotely similar is happening in Germany: Eastern Germany is being fled by young women because of the bad economy in these parts of the country - and because the dating pool there is very, very unattractive. A lot of men that live there have traits and views similar to those who follow the maga cult, and that does not appeal to young women, not at all.

    This makes the guys even more angry and therefore even more undateable. The circle continues.

  • tnarg42@lemmy.world
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    Pretty sure this is just natural selection in action. Unfit mates are less desirable. This has less to do with political polarization and more to do with fundamentally unfit partners.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    Marriage isn’t in jeopardy, it’s just that a portion of straight people will either choose not to partake because their options are worse than nothing, and those options will not get to partake by nature of being worse than nothing.

    My marriage is fine, because we’re both communists. My gf and her husband are happily married because they’re both left wing feminists. It would be a much worse problem if we made nothing worse than a trump supporter