Man, what a bad year for us. Look at all these setbacks the global communist movement faced and didn’t overcome:

• The Chinese spy balloon incident. We hoped the presidency and the Pentagon would make utter fools of themselves by shooting down children’s kites and talking about alien invaders. Didn’t happen: Biden’s measured and appropriate response won him the admiration of the entire world, and put to rest any lingering doubts about his fitness for office.

• US sanctions absolutely destroying China’s semiconductor industry. We thought that one of the world’s richest countries, with the biggest real economy and most advanced industrial base on earth, would find a way to make needed chips on their own. Nope: cheap commie manufacturing got exposed once again as unable to adapt to the computer age, and the Chinese had to come begging to Washington to get the sanctions lifted. Just like Reagan predicted.

• The US economy and the USD were both stronger than ever, with de-dollarization basically a nonstarter. (This after the US did NOT experience a recession in 2022, and after American economists absolutely did NOT redefine the very meaning of the word in order to hide how badly the economy was doing). We hoped Russia and China announce a raft of trade agreements, including trade in yuan; none of that came to fruition, and we might as well accept that Bretton Woods is going to be with us forever.

• Russian retreat from Bakhmut, a city which had not strategic value to begin with. Russia said it was the key to the Donbas, and as good Z bots we have to keep parroting that line, but we all know the city was only attacked to stroke Putin’s ego. Avdiivka is NOT, I repeat NOT, in danger from Russian forces.

• But the biggest humiliation we faced: the Ukrainian counteroffensive, which people are STILL talking about, which ISN’T being quietly swept under the rug, and which all freedom-loving people (not Tankies) will CONTINUE to talk about until the end of time. We thought the Ukrainian army would stall at the skirmish line, unable to advance because of extensive mining and massive Russian firepower; instead, we had to gnash our teeth in rage as those rag-tag Ukrainian heroes, armed with advanced American and EU weaponry, broke through Russian lines and liberated Crimea. Guess those Patriot missiles really are invincible.

So there it is, a really crappy year for anti-imperialism. Let’s hope 2024 can be better.