“The bible says we’ll be persecuted, so if people don’t hate us then we must not be living according to God’s will. We have to be even more annoying in order to prove our faith!”
Can’t tell you how long into my adulthood it took me to unlearn the pattern that “If I can get people to hate me, then I must be doing something right. In fact, if people like me then I must be doing something wrong!”
I mean, even years after dropping christianity, that subconscious pattern was very much still underlying my perceptions and behavior. Sometimes I couldn’t figure out why it was so difficult to make friends, why I always compulsively self-sabotaged. There was this deep-seated feeling of guilt that always accompanied any sign of approval that I received from others. Even today, I feel uncomfortable whenever I receive a compliment or praise (rare because I avoid situations where that might happen).
Depressingly unsurprising. Up there with viewing being opposed as proof that they’re right.
“The bible says we’ll be persecuted, so if people don’t hate us then we must not be living according to God’s will. We have to be even more annoying in order to prove our faith!”
Can’t tell you how long into my adulthood it took me to unlearn the pattern that “If I can get people to hate me, then I must be doing something right. In fact, if people like me then I must be doing something wrong!”
I mean, even years after dropping christianity, that subconscious pattern was very much still underlying my perceptions and behavior. Sometimes I couldn’t figure out why it was so difficult to make friends, why I always compulsively self-sabotaged. There was this deep-seated feeling of guilt that always accompanied any sign of approval that I received from others. Even today, I feel uncomfortable whenever I receive a compliment or praise (rare because I avoid situations where that might happen).