it sounds like your mental health is your primary contradiction, so i would use the time and opportunity you currently have to work on that and general self-care.

one thing that has helped me a lot to that end has been clearly distinguishing between validity and truth. every feeling and thought that you experience is completely valid, or in other words it is rational for you to experience it, both now and historically. as hegel said, “the real is rational and the rational is real.” but, just because something is valid doesn’t necessarily make it correct.

in order to separate those two in practice, i would try to determine some thoughts or feelings that you think may be incorrect, try to mull over the rationale behind why you thought or felt that thing in the first place (this can sometimes take a long time, and a good therapist can help with this process), and then start to slowly correct that behavior over time.

a pretty common example of this that i suspect you may be experiencing is feeling a sense of worthlessness by not being able to work. while there may be many reasons for feeling this, both in general and specific to your own life experience, a common reason why people feel this way under capitalism is that people are only socially valued for the productive labor they can contribute to society. this is despite the fact that everyone inherently provides other types of value to society, and a pause in socially productive labor doesn’t necessarily mean a complete stop, either. even though we all want to be as socially productive as we can reasonably manage, feeling worthless is actually counterproductive to that goal.

finally, i just want to clarify something regarding incorrect feelings. it may be confusing to you or others to hear me call some feelings incorrect, but simultaneously valid. after all, we don’t really have direct control over our emotions, we feel what we do in order to process the world around us and help us communicate (to others or to ourselves) what our needs are. however, many emotions (these are typically referred to as secondary emotions) are themselves directly influenced by how we use thoughts and ideas to interpret stimuli, including our own initial emotional response to something (referred to as primary emotions, which i don’t think can ever be incorrect). and we do have the capacity to have control over our thoughts, thus giving us some indirect control over our incorrect secondary emotions.

hope that made sense and is helpful to you! know that you’re not alone, and that i’m in a very similar situation to you too. mental health struggles are real, and are becoming all the more common.