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inari@piefed.zip to Global News@lemmy.zipEnglish · 1 day ago

Wall Street is beginning to think that Trump can’t reopen the Strait of Hormuz

fortune.com

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Wall Street is beginning to think that Trump can’t reopen the Strait of Hormuz

fortune.com

inari@piefed.zip to Global News@lemmy.zipEnglish · 1 day ago
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Wall Street is beginning to think that Trump can’t reopen the Strait of Hormuz | Fortune
fortune.com
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Everything you need to know before you reach the office this morning.
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  • Foni@piefed.zip
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    1 day ago

    Translation: People who work on Wall Street are slow as hell.

    • swearengen@sopuli.xyz
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      1 day ago

      Perpetual optimists as long as the guy in power has an ® next to his name.

      If this happened under Biden the market would have freaked the fuck out.

      • Frozengyro@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I mean it did freak out at first, but line must go up

    • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social
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      1 day ago

      If you want to speed them up, you’ve got to open the windows first.

  • FrankFrankson@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    What tipped them off? Was it when Iran broke off all peace talks and said they would keep the straight closed? Gosh these wallstreet fellas are smart!

  • Rothe@piefed.social
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    23 hours ago

    Wall Street is a bit slow in the head it seems, but I guess they will get there if you give them enough time.

  • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe
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    20 hours ago

    You mean the guy who triggered Iran to do the thing they’ve threatened to do for decades in order to disctract America from the Epstein Files scandal can’t get that toothpaste back in the tube?

  • BmeBenji (he/him)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    22 hours ago

    TIL I’m better at predicting the future than the average Wall Streeter. Maybe I should get into Wall Streeting.

    • JakenVeina@midwest.social
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      19 hours ago

      Being successful on Wall Street isn’t about being smart, it’s about having connections and being willing to commit fraud.

      • IronBird@lemmy.world
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        19 hours ago

        eh, doesnt take smarts or insider knowledge to buy low sell high. if anything smarts hurts you in fintech industry…you second guess your plays too much

    • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz
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      20 hours ago

      Finance people are so damn willfully clueless.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      20 hours ago

      I’m assuming the Wall Street people assumed Trump’s just doing this to manipulate the markets and make a bunch of money, but now it’s starting to seem like MAYBE he’s just stuck and completely fucked.

  • FreddiesLantern@leminal.space
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    1 day ago

    Man, leopards getting seriously overweight lately…

  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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    21 hours ago

    Womp wah

  • RogueBanana@piefed.zip
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    1 day ago

    He absolutely can. Just admit defeat and walk away in shame. But his pride probably wouldn’t allow that.

    • fizzle@quokk.au
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      Nah Iran wouldnt just “reopen” the straight even if Trump did that.

      • favoredponcho@lemmy.zip
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        23 hours ago

        It would reopen it and charge a toll. At this point, that might be preferable to 20% of the world’s oil market being cut off, but that result makes Trump look like a complete loser.

        • fizzle@quokk.au
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          22 hours ago

          That’s not really “open” though.

    • null@lemmy.org
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      1 day ago

      His cankles either.

  • Clutter@sh.itjust.works
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    What tipped them off? Everything Trump has ever done and said?

    (Read as: destroyed and then lied about)

  • goatmeal@midwest.social
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    *won’t, not can’t

    I feel like they’ve sabotaged it everytime it’s been close

  • MutantTailThing@lemmy.world
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    Yeah no shit Sherlock.

  • Evilsandwichman [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Play stupid games win stupid prizes

  • Dippy@beehaw.org
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    1 day ago

    Whaaaaaaaat?

  • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    These people are all cokeheads.

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