Or anything else you’d like to share about cptsd!
CPTSD is also something i struggle with due to a traumatic childhood, but for the most part I’m out of that situation.
Knowing that what’s done is done really helps, it’s in the past and I’m safe now (at least relatively).
I’m still living in the same house i was abused in but my abusers are gone, so being able to reclaim that space and objectively acknowledge that I’ve progressed as a person helps put distance between what happened and what is happening.
Also learning to recognize that the way i was treated affected how i treat myself, and catching when i start letting the internal voice of those people dictate my life. Knowing what is genuinely your thoughts and feelings and the ones that aren’t is extremely helpful, though very difficult.
Getting better is hard and neverending, but it lets you appreciate what little good you do have going on.
Would you say safety plays a key role?
What you said about your thoughts, I said exactly the same thing to my therapist but I couldn’t properly explain it. Acknowledging to read it here.
You must be proud that you’re able to continue living in that house.
Have you also had issues being reliable at work?
Safety absolutely plays a role there, there have been instances where I’ve made brief contact with my abusers and it causes hardcore instability, but that’s to be expected in those kinds of scenarios. But otherwise knowing that I’m a safe distance away from them helps so much.
I’m very proud of being able to stay there, especially since I get to live with people i know genuinely care about me and contribute to the healing process.
Work definitely gets affected by it though, I don’t have that feeling of safety at my work unfortunately (am publicly trans in a pretty transphobic community) so that stress definitely gets me to fall back into the same feelings and coping mechanism from my previous situation.
It was a really rough time after I got the cPTSD diagnosis because it really changed the context of my life. So my brain, being so very helpful, decided to do a 24/7 stream of my past for reconciliation. Probably not a unique experience so here’s tips I could have used earlier on:
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mindfulness practice is paramount so that you’re not just like dissociating into oblivion or getting consumed by flashbacks. James Gordon’s “The Transformation” (also printed as “Transforming Trauma”) is pretty solid on the mindfulness stuff, though some of it needs to be taken with like a fistful of salt.
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sleep hygiene is everything since without it, symptoms are worse and you’re less equipped to cope. Do not be afraid to get psychiatric help if nothing is working. The last thing you want is to be in urgent care after being awake for four days straight.
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get on some anxiety medication. Helps with the sleep and with having more mental space when flashbacks hit
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weekly therapy
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lean on supportive humans in your life. DBT might help stand in if you don’t have those, but you need to be careful that it’s not a group dominated by cluster B personality disorders (I.e. people like your abuser(s))
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schedule time for soothing activities that you enjoy
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exercise. Doesn’t have to be extreme, but like try and at least walk for half an hour a day.
Tl;dr - sleep, mindfulness, therapist, psychiatrist, support of loved ones, self-care, exercise
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I broke down always being reminded, sold all my belongings, moved across country, left a 20 year career, and started over… I don’t think it helped though
Did you reduce the number of triggers by moving?
Yeah, I did I guess, but I was still getting triggered into looping memories, and because I left my friends and family and familiar locations behind I think it made it harder over all
Jesus that sucks.
Sometimes it helps my fiance if I disrupt then with something benign and out of left field. When their circling on about something, if I ask about whether or not they remembered to preheat the ketchup or sent the vegetable tickets to their dear aunt hulk hogan, their brain does a reset
That’s exactly how zen masters teach!
I had no idea lol
