The only way to “return to normal” is to prosecute those who violate laws. Because “normal”, to me, is when criminals are held accountable.
Like what the fuck.
Yes, but we have to do better than normal. We need to improve things beyond just criminal liability and beyond just the previous status quo.
Where are you gonna find all those newspapers? Print them?
The onion still does a print edition
Excellent
Sounds like a fun job
Hakim Jefferies could use this treatment.
Except his newspaper is rolled so tight it’s a 2x4 and the squirt bottle is a super soaker filled with hot pepper juice .
the squirt bottle is actually a cop that’s been told there’s someone questioning their authority
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I dunno, I feel there should be some exceptions to this.
Sometimes a sturdy book instead of a newspaper.
Sometimes a grand piano
Increasingly heavy tool with increasing number of infractions.
This is a similar idea to a new job role that I’ve been proposing for a few years now: The slapping page.
One should be assigned to every politician, CEO, board member and similar public figure to shadow them and step forward to administer a hefty slap to their face anytime their charge says something stupid, racist, inhumane, tells a lie or anything of the sort.
No words should be exchanged and the slapping page should immediately after the fact return to their background position, displaying a neutral facial expression.
I believe the introduction of the slapping page would
- incentivize truthful, empathetic and overall more decent behaviour in said public figures
- revive the job market by introducing a new exciting AI proof career path
- increase the entertainment value of public appearances of said public figures
- motivate tax payers who would see their tax money used in the public interest for once
Thank you for listening to my elevator pitch.
I think CEOs should be excited to get behind this initiative, because the alternative is Luigi.
This is an amazing idea, and I’m now going to have an imaginary slapping page whenever anyone is on a stage of some sort. .
.
.
Anyone
This is similar to how when Roman generals got a triumph celebrated for them, a slave would stand behind them saying “remember, you are mortal”. In this case, the page would say “remember, you are a corrupt douchebag who is only in this position because you can somehow smile for sixteen hours straight”.
It’s also similar to a court jester. They were often one of the only ones who could mock the king and get away with it. Often that meant they were the only ones who could get away with telling the truth.
The problem with getting a court jester today is that Peter Dinklage would make sure nobody got the job but him.
YOU ALL ARE FINALLY GETTING IT. Violence is not the answer, but it can be part of the solution!
It’s self-defense! Collaborating with the Republicans is aggression.
A little bit happy to see that casual microblog screenshots don’t come from Twitter anymore. I’m sure Lemmy would prefer it be Mastodon, not Bluesky, but still, change is good.
They should also be required to have an advisor that is a 5 year old child. If the 5 year old child can outsmart their plan, then a Republican probably can too.
Revive, “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”
I was referring to the Evil Overlord List but uh, yeah that works too.
GOP: We see you as subhuman and want to hunt you for sport.
Centrist Dems: That’s someone I can work with to craft bipartisan legislation that only compromises 95% of what my voters want.
Conservative Dems.
Stop helping them shift the overton window to the right.
It’s already been shifted. The Republicans are fascists and their friends are collaborators.
“Yes we gave ICE a $50 trillion budget for next year, but in exchange we recieved a gentleman’s agreement that the president would consider allowing the permit for 1 wind farm to be reviewed.”
This “progressive” vs “centrist” bullshit is a false narrative. You could describe James Talarico or Adam Hamilton as centrist, but they have more in common with Bernie Sanders than with Chuck Schumer.
This battle is about ethics and tenacity vs corruption and fecklessness, not “progressives” vs “centrists.” Schumer clearly greases the wheels for his donors, represents the interests of AIPAC above those of the United States, and does not have the skills to lead with new ideas or stand up to would-be authoritarians. All the Democrats who represent the working people should unite to support another candidate for Majority Leader.
I see what you’re saying from a rhetorical standpoint: it would perhaps be more effective at uniting the democratic base against feckless and corrupt leadership if we drop the lateral-proximal political spectrum dichotomy.
But from a purely descriptive standpoint, there absolutely is a difference between progressives and centrists. ‘Centrists’ in this context is shorthand for “fiscally conservative neoliberal establishment corporate dems committed to the status quo and appeasement.”
Whereas ‘progressives’ refers to “the
partycaucus fighting for the working class, reparative justice, pro-social policy, meaningful climate action, and other necessary reforms.”One is beholden to large corporate donors, one only answers to their constituents. In practical terms, there’s a huge difference.
If we can communicate that better than simply saying “progressives” and “centrists,” I’m all ears for the proposed vocabulary we should use. I’m not attached to the labels, I’m only interested in implementing the necessary changes that centrists actively stand in the way of.
About Progress, Regress, and Status Quo
What it boils down to is we have three options: progression, status quo, or regression. Only one of those is viable for the enduring wellbeing of democracy, the planet, and the common good. That much should be clear.
Regression tries to glorify a bygone past and attempts to return to a fantasy of what was, while ignoring the policies that led to the few parts that were actually better (boomers are nostalgic for FDR’s economy, so they demand Nixon’s and Reagan’s policies which destroyed the comfortable living standards they enjoyed growing up).
Status quo attempts to treat the present moment as static, and it thinks we can ride out the coming storm by resting on whatever imaginary laurels a few people have amassed for themselves by creating, perpetuating, and accelerating the problems in the first place.
Progression is the only option that looks into the future, assesses the paths in front of us and says “We can’t go down this or that path because they end in disaster. This other path though gives us a chance.” The only option that looks at where we need to go, what the goal is, (i.e. societal and planetary healing followed by collective flourishing), and asks “Okay what policies do we need to implement in order to start down this better path?”
It should be abundantly clear by this point what we need to do, and it’s incredibly frustrating that so many people still don’t see that. And we’re running out of time.
I genuinely believe this is a false dichotomy. The descriptors you assign to each category may apply to some politicians, but many more hold complex views that don’t fit into these boxes. The “fiscally conservative neoliberal establishment corporate dems” you’re discussing are the corrupt people I’m talking about. These are the people taking bribes and not representing their constituencies, which is a totally standalone issue. This conversation must be about political reform and anti-corruption rather than some left-center conflict theater
The line isn’t even that blurry. There are caucuses. The progressive caucus has over a hundred members in the next session of congress. The “New Democrats,” i.e. fiscal conservatives, have slightly more, for now.
There may be some in between but they need to make up their minds because this is the battle for the soul of the Democratic party, and if the progressives can’t act quickly, 2028 isn’t going to go so well, and as I’ve said before, we’re running out of time.
The moment for bold climate action was years ago, but now we have to scramble just to manage the catastrophe as best we can to minimize the damage it’s going to cause. If you think this is merely about “conflict theater” then go home, if this is a game to you then stop playing. We’re running out of time.
“Thereby I improved things by 5%”
Completely illogical and quite likely something they (bipartisan) would say.
100% support this.
Now is not the time for such divisio—
Shht!
There are some very humane shock collars on the market.
Also, don’t lie to me and tell me that none of our elected officials would be into that shit.
Pretty sure those are illegal in the UK, if you know what I mean 🤭
Pretty sure almost everything is illegal in the UK.
Keep those for dogs and such. We should use the inhumane ones on the politicians.
What’s the voltage?
Some of them should probably use a brick instead. It isn’t like Fetterman’s brain can get worse.
That is overly violent.
Just ounch him in the dick every time he goes to speak.
Or a squirt bottle with cat piss
An “ounch” feels like it would involve twisting and pinching D:
