Don’t do it! Ghosts will show up and ruin your Christmas.
At least the ghosts are helping us in the War on Christmas. Somebody’s gotta be on the side of against Christmas in order for the culture war to make any sense.
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I don’t know how well you’ll sleep with those four spirits visiting you, but sweet dreams.
Wait, what’s the fourth spirit?
The spirit of sexy Christmas.
(Five if they’re Muppets.)
Marley was dead, to begin with.
I feel like the only person in the world who can’t stand polyester, especially in bed
polyester is ass. 100% cotton all day every day
I hate it. It feels terrible on my skin and quickly smells.
My mother is allergic to it. Real pain in the ass. You’re not the only one.
You mean like polyester underwear?
And shirts, and bandaids, and thread, and gloves, and…
I’ll stick to mono ester, I’m not a Bigamist heathen.
needs more bifocals and mutton chops
The “snoreee mimimimi” fit
“He’s clearly got some issues, I just don’t know that PTSD is one of them…”
Thats a child’s nightcap, it’ll be pretty uncomfortable
product page screenshots and not an order confirmation screen
Pussy.
It’s like 1900 when my eyelids drop.
Long winter’s nap.
I dunno, sleeping naked is the best. Once I started sleeping naked, I could never go back, it just feels weird to have any clothes on in bed now.
The only reason I will put clothes on is if Im spiking a fever, so Ill put on some clothes to get my temp spike faster as I wait for the ibuprofen to kick in or the temp to reach the set point, then Ill undress.
