I always knew I was different, but it was only at 33 that someone suggested I might have it (I was getting myself checked out after my father passed), so I talked to a doctor about it a couple of times but never truly did all the tests.
It took me having both kids diagnosed to go through the entire process to get my diagnosis (same as the kids, unsurprisingly), and I cannot avoid cursing myself at 33 for not doing it sooner. Everything I learned in the 10+ years between both things could have made that period a bit smoother, using all the tools and techniques I have acquired since.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 47 and I’m probably autistic but it’s not worth pursuing it formally. The difference has been massive and it took a year just coming to terms with the realisation. I went through a lot as a kid and I’m trying to untangle the web of masking behaviour. In general it’s been great but there were depressive periods where I felt like I was losing my identity. I have devoted a lifetime pretending to be someone else. I don’t have to do that any more but old habits die hard. I feel happy, life is easier when we accept who we are.
Nice, acceptance is great! Glad you are feeling a positive change!
life is easier when we accept who we are.
I always knew I was ADHD, but I though it just made it hard to read. It wasn’t until formal diagnosis and medication that I realized just how much ADHD was affecting my entire life. It wasn’t just reading, education, or work. There were so many social and personal issues that would stem from it. People would think I was rude, careless, or selfish. Mix that with autism and us relating consoling people expressing difficulty by sharing a relatable personal experience, and people thought I only cared about myself, so I over-corrected by making everything about everyone else and stopped existing. As far as personal things, I would run late, forget central factors (like a suit for a fancy event), have terrible sleep habits, and all around clumsy. Finally got a diagnosis as an adult and getting therapy from an ND therapist, and wowsers! I had no idea how much ADHD was affecting my life. It’s insane! I think that the difficulties of ADHD are severely dismissed.
Good job on unmasking. In my experience, it takes a lot of little experiments to find out who we really are since that person got buried so deep. There’s a bit of embarrassment and minor regret here and there, but overall, I think it’s fun to become who I really am. So much discovery!
I self-diagnosed and can’t find any reason to get a formal diagnosis… Like you, I wish I had known decades ago. :( Will keep watching this topic just to see if anyone can provide a compelling reason to get a formal diagnosis.
For me, it was really only to know and also to have that when it comes time to talk to my youngest about it (fast approaching…). But the learning I have been doing for a while, so the diagnostic makes no difference, really. Oh wait, there was one interesting bit, doing an IQ test again to see what difference 30 years make from the first one I took (when I was trying to understand why the hell I was so “weird”, but it led nowhere back then).
I only sought and received a formal diagnosis last year, despite being aware that I met the DSM V criteria for over 15 years prior. I had toyed with the idea over the years, but only pursued it last year for health reasons. Getting a diagnosis meant that I had a few more levers to pull with my employment.
I had a similar experience. Always new I was weird, but figured that was because I didn’t get the proper how-to-be-a-human training from my family. My diagnosis journey began when I told a therapist that I was sick of all these relationship problems I was having, and literally asked her, “What’s wrong with me?” She said nothing was wrong with me, but that I seem like a person that was highly sensitive to sensory and emotional stimuli, then explained how it was useful to have people like that in tribes back in the hunter-gatherer days. Cue special interest in highly sensitive people. Like 1.5 months later, an ex-friend that was trying to insult me called me autistic at a social gathering. To get him back, I took online autism assessments the next day thinking that the results would prove that I wasn’t autistic and could send him the results. However, I kept popping as high likelihood for autism. I was almost convinced, but felt like I was maybe I was trying to find an excuse. I got an official ADOS2 assessment about 1.5 months after that that confirmed it. It then took another 6 months for me to be certain I was autistic. It’s been a wild ride of self-discovery and WTFs, but I’m happy I found out. I’ve made lots of adjustments that have been helpful. The latest one was going to an amusement park with ear plugs in. WHAT.A.DIFFERENCE! Despite the changes, I still have lots to go. In summary, I pursued a diagnosis because I was so sick of all these issues and was running out of options. This meme has been happening since:
Also, your name and post reminded me of this song: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=zaaIZ2cp-FU&si=aa4c1U3FDP1LWFbb
Ear plugs are a remarkable tool. Since I did the first one, they have helped me so much. Nowadays, I take them with me any time I leave the house, and they help so much.
Hope those relationship issues are also getting better, along with the improvement in other areas you already mentioned.
Not diagnosed (yet) but my reason is mostly so that I can get some money if I am recognized as handicaped. It’s not that much: I’d still be considered as poor by most metrics, but I’d take it.
Yeah, no doubt. I get better parking and priority in queues. Not life changing, but if I can do it, why not?
