• Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    I go out and interact with strangers all the time, make acquaintances and friends, and when I was interested, even met women to date. I’m autistic, awkward, and have anxiety. If I can do it, most neurotypicals should be able to as well. I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously. It takes time to build rapport with an individual or group, but consistency is key. You’ll often be surprised by the people who look forward to seeing you.

    • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      The true key is…counterintuitive as this sounds, not looking.

      Try enjoying yourself, meeting people, doing things you like. People can sense desperation or dishonesty in you when you’re feigning interest or trying to get in their pants. Just…be a decent person, and you can find people who you get along with. It happens more naturally that way and you’re more likely to find…yknow, people you like and who like you.

      • Rolando@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        And plus, once you do have a relationship, it’ll be a lot stronger because you won’t desperately need to be in that relationship at any costs.

    • LePoisson@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously

      In my experience it’s oftentimes men that are looking to date women way more attractive than them. Like some fat slob incel that refuses to date or bang a chubby chick and then gets mad they’re not picking up women that are hot AF and upset “nobody will date [them].”

      It’s stupid, I know a guy on discord just like that. Unattractive fat guy and when I mentioned I think the biggest thing to coupling is being realistic and dating people about the same attractive level … Dude balked at that. Was like “what about a guy that has a great personality,” the man is delusional. No job, on food stamps and just getting by, living in a one bedroom (maybe studio?) apt, slobby and fat then hits the surprise Pikachu face that women don’t want to date him. Not to mention his social skills. Talk about a total lack of self awareness.

      Sure maybe if you were extremely rich a woman might overlook your physical appearance but let’s be realistic here.

      That to me is the problem most people have but I agree with the instantaneous thing too - it takes time to get in the groove so to speak. I’ve seen it go both ways gender wise just picking on my fellow dudes here.