I’m AMAB and since July, I’ve felt what I now realize is mild dysphoria. Around 2 weeks ago I read more about gender dysphoria from genderdysphoria.fyi and realized I am almost certainly trans. Ever since I realized this, my dysphoria (along with anxiety about said dysphoria) has gotten a lot worse to the point where I’m only getting ~3-5 hours of sleep for multiple days in a row until I get exhausted enough to pass out immediately when I get in bed. I was originally going to wait until I graduate this year but I’ve been pretty miserable and I want to come out sooner because I think that would at least help with the anxiety aspects, even if I wait to start actually transitioning. That being said, I’m worried about a few things:

My last semester in undergrad for CS is coming up and I have 4 male roommates in an apartment, and I’m scared of making things awkward for the last months we’ll be living together since we’re all pretty close friends.

I’m lucky enough to be in a blue state (both at college and at home) and my parents and siblings are all mostly progressive politically, but I don’t think my parents have ever actually met a trans person. I’m worried that they won’t accept me because they think that all trans people knew they were trans as children, and I’ve had mostly “male” hobbies for my whole life. It’s more of less the same story with my grandparents who I’m also very close with, one of whom is in pretty bad health right now. I’m worried that coming out and/or transitioning would be enough of a shock to make that worse.

I guess my questions are, how did you come out, and how can I approach this with my family? Did you start transitioning immediately after coming out to friends/family? Before? Am I way overthinking everything? Any other advice for someone who’s new to all of this?

If my run-on sentences are unintelligible lmk and I’ll fix them, I’m very sleep deprived rn but I needed to get this off my chest before I actually implode

  • treefrog@lemm.ee
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    26 days ago

    I think Emily about covered it. The only thing I would add is read Who’s Afraid of Gender? People will doubt and be skeptical, some of them will be well meaning about it and some of them won’t be. Either way it’s a very accessible book, written by one of the leading gender theorist’s in the world.

    And it’s full of critiques of alot of the skeptical bullshit that we encounter about ourselves.