I was always very anxious person and this anxiety really helped me to motivate myself to do anything. I would procrastinate, wait for anxiety to kick in and panicking do the thing in 1/10 of time. However after this cbd thing the anxiety no longer kicks in lmao. It is gone for real, I can’t even evoke it if I wanted. And so my career/education took a huge hit.
At first I thought this effect was because of slight amounts of THC “making me lazy”. I imagined that I got a bit addicted to it over the year of everyday full spectrum cbd usage and I got stereotypical “bum” mentality from “weed” 😅
My next step as soon as I noticed that I no longer have drive and motivation and ambition? was to just come clean off it and I did it single day, was a bit irritable and angry for a week but generally not a big deal.
So now I am months after that and I realize that there is more to this. That this anxiety that cbd killed was actually part of my coping with adhd. I mean how else explain that months after quitting I still haven’t regained my “motivation” to finish something before deadline? The anxiety just doesn’t kick in, it is gone.
Idk honestly I must find some other way because I am almost 30 and that also is some sort of deadline hopefully the anxiety kicks at birthday.
I don’t know honestly if I should celebrate my calmness and relaxation or should I curse myself for losing the coping method. I need to find another… somehow.
I guess I don’t miss panic attacks but it is hard to balance it all. Some anxiety is kind of a force that for me was propelling me forward. Now I just want to relax and chill all the timee. Sit there on the patio comfortably with beverage and just take the nature in. That doesn’t work good for me in the long run I feel.
Anxiety as a driving force isn’t really great for your health, so I would be happy to be rid of it. You should look into treating the ADHD itself, could be with a medical professional and trying if there are meds that work for you. One of my kids also has ADHD and we did find some meds for her that help after going through a few options.
You could also try controlling it yourself, this is a bit of mixed bag though and I would recommend exploring the medical options if they’re available for you.
For example, I’m quite a bit older than you and I never got it formally diagnosed, so no meds. I try to keep work and free time as separate as possible. For example during work hours my personal PC is strictly off, I do my work with another PC that only has access to my music and what is required for work, no other media that could distract me. I need to always do something, so basically the work gets done because I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t always stay on the right task, but this works well enough for me.
People and ADHD are both on a wide spectrum, so it’s always a bit of trial and error to find out what works for you
Maybe I will but my country has substandard adhd treatment with 2 meds available but I guess one can try that and see for myself if this is desirable change or something only made to fit into contemporary society workforce