The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/PsychologicalStar245 on 2025-03-13 02:24:31.

So, I’m a 27 year old woman from Saudi Arabia and marriage here is a little different from what you might see in the West. Family plays a big role in the process, and financial stability is often considered an important factor when deciding who to marry. My dad is really involved in my marriage prospects and his opinion means a lot in our culture.

I’ve been introduced to a man (let’s call him Omar) and while I don’t have any major issues with him, we’ve only just started talking. My family likes him, and he seems like a good person but we haven’t had the time to really get to know each other well enough yet. The whole idea of getting married feels rushed to me, especially since I’ve never been engaged before and I want to take my time. But my dad has been really pushing me to take the next step with him.

Then here’s where the real problem came in. I asked Omar about his salary. It’s a pretty standard question here, especially when considering marriage. It’s reasonable to ask that, right? Financial stability is important and in our culture, a man’s ability to support his wife is often expected. I just wanted to get an idea of where he stands. But when I asked him, he got really uncomfortable, gave me vague answers and didn’t seem willing to discuss it. I asked him again but he still avoided it.

I talked to my dad about it, and he got FURIOUS with me. He said it was disrespectful to ask about a man’s salary before marriage and that I should trust the process. He told me that I shouldn’t be focusing on something like that. He says it makes me look greedy and materialistic and that I’m making Omar uncomfortable. But to me, it’s not about the money, it’s about making sure I know who I’m committing to. I want to be sure that if I marry this man, I won’t be left in a difficult position later on.

The thing is, my dad and a lot of my extended family (who I didn’t agree to involve in this) think I’m being unreasonable. They believe that asking about finances is inappropriate and that I should be focusing on the person, not the money. I understand their point but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s an important question to ask, especially since I’m being asked to make such a big commitment. Omar is a good guy, but I still don’t feel like I have enough information.

So, AITA for asking Omar about his salary, even though it’s considered a sensitive topic and my dad is upset about it?