The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Intelligent_Floor413 on 2025-03-13 04:24:30.

My (30sF) best friend from medical school (30sF) and I were extremely close during school—we spent almost all of our time together. After graduation, though, our friendship became very one-sided. I would call her often, but she rarely answered or called me back. She would text me occasionally, but never made an effort to FaceTime or catch up in a meaningful way.

I live on the East Coast, she’s on the West Coast. Whenever I visited California, I’d reach out months in advance to plan a meet-up, but she always claimed she was working and couldn’t make time. Meanwhile, when she came to New York (once), it happened to be my birthday weekend. I had already made plans to go to Florida, but I changed them just so I could see her. We had a great time, and I thought maybe we were getting back on track.

A week after that visit, I got engaged and shared the news with her, including our planned wedding date—August 28, 2025 (Labor Day weekend). She was super excited and said she would do anything to be there.

Then, just a week later, she sent me a voice memo saying that she and her fiancé (who wasn’t even officially engaged yet) had just booked their wedding for August 30, 2025—two days after mine. She said there were no other dates available at her venue, which meant our mutual friends from medical school would have to choose which wedding to attend.

She also asked if my wedding date was “set in stone”—which it was, since we had already signed a contract. She responded with something like “Ugh, this just sucks,” which rubbed me the wrong way. Something about her venue’s “no other dates available” excuse felt off, so I emailed the venue myself (yeah, I know, a little petty, but I had a gut feeling). They told me that all Saturdays in August and June 2025 were open. So she lied to me about having no other options.

At this point, I was really upset. Not because our weddings were close together (life happens), but because she wasn’t honest with me and had been distant for years.

I was debating whether or not to invite her to my bachelorette party when she texted me about her bridal shower, saying invitations were going out and she really wanted me to be there. That just made me angrier—I felt like she had put zero effort into our friendship, lied to me about her wedding date, and then still expected me to celebrate her.

So I decided to be honest. I told her I wasn’t upset that her wedding was the same weekend, but I was upset that she lied to me about the venue situation. I also told her that our friendship had felt one-sided for a long time—she never made time to see me when I visited California, barely reached out, and never put in effort to maintain our bond. I wanted to be upfront so we could maybe fix things.

She didn’t really respond in any meaningful way, and I’m pretty sure I’m now disinvited from her bridal shower.

So, AITA for calling her out and deciding to email her venue to see if she was lying, or am I overreacting?