of course, i need help, not for someone who can say definitely, because only i can.
ok, so i’m born female, but i don’t identify as such. honestly, i think i align myself somewhere on the “man” part of the spectrum, but i feel very “soft” and “tender”, i guess that means i don’t feel a sense of hypermasculinity or a strong sense of gender.
part of me seems to be male aligned and the other part just feels soft like i say, no specific gender. rather, i’d say a gender but not one that counts as male or female. since i can’t express my gender, i say i’m just me, but i do get curious what gender i would count as. i’m just me in the end, but still.
I hope this isn’t offensive to say, but the whole “gender” thing kind of confuses me as a concept. I am AFAB. I am not particularly feminine and I don’t identify with feminine things. Yet I am not masculine and I don’t identify with masculine things either. Some people might say…oh “so you identify as agender or nonbinary, right?”
Well no, actually. I guess like…I just don’t understand why “masculine” or “feminine” now often (but not always) equate to “male” or “female”. I personally identify as female because I am AFAB. I’m not bothered by it. I don’t identify as feminine though.
It’s just like…I’m me. My “gender” or how I choose to present myself doesn’t matter to me. Identifying as female lets my medical providers know what organs I have and what diseases are relevant to me. When my bits don’t matter, I just either go with the default assigned to me (“female”) or I don’t bother to correct people if they assume otherwise (like if people online think I’m male, I just go with it).
Idk. I more than support anyone’s ability to want to be called a certain thing, to want to express themselves a certain way, etc. I more than support transgender and nonbinary peeps. I just will never fully and entirely understand why people feel so strongly about these distinctions.
But I love you all and support you. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. I’m just a confused AFAB person.
Huh. I just wrote a very similar comment before seeing yours.
Hey, twins! I read your comment and thought it was very well stated. I have such similar thoughts and feelings about the whole thing! It’s like…just be you! Don’t worry about the details of what “fits” or doesn’t.