The word can have swearing but not genderisation which might be offensive (mother) nor allusions to sexual dominance (motherfucker). Nor, other possibly offensive connotations. It seems that the word is commonplace and people won’t stop using it, so an alternative to the word may be useful. But the problem with alternatives, is that people might not use them unless they carry a meaning that’s attention grabbing in some way, and when it comes to this word it needs to be able to be used in either a serious (non-funny) or comedic way.
Are you looking for an inoffensive insult?
…or for an insult so accurately aiming at the person to be insulted like pissing through a key hole from a 11.5 ft distance.
Upvoting because this is a a true “no stupid questions” post.
So… I think you need to look into the social and cognitive nature of swear words. Vsauce has a pretty good primer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7dQh8u4Hc
I think you also need to let go of the desire to be better than common culture, and/or the desire to engineer a better culture from an external perspective. People are gross and messy, imprecise and reckless. It’s what makes us interesting, motherfucker.
You want an alternative to “motherfucker” that can’t be offensive in any way?
Yeah no. Do you even realize what you are asking?
“Dad”
Literally means the same thing.
I’ve had it with these dad snakes on this dad plane!
… just doesn’t have the same punch to it.
Asking the right questions here!
I have had it with all these doucheshit snakes on this twatboy plane!
(from another comment) just doesn’t work…
That’s offensive to lesbian couples who used artificial insemination only.
Asshole works, but its not as rude.
The bigger question is, are you honestly that much of a prude?
I actually think that depending on the context asshole is more hurtful than motherfucker. “He’s a stupid motherfucker” seems like you are just angry. “He’s an asshole” sounds like he legit is a ln awful person. Not a dominant fucker or anything. Just a dirty, unpleasant being. It is more demeaning I would say. I would be more hurt to be called an asshole than a motherfucker.
Maternal fornicator
Doesn’t maternal fornicator imply a power imbalance? How about Mutually Consenting Same-Age Peer Fucker?
Peer Fucker has a good mouth feel to it.
‘You fucking donkey’ is a personal favorite
“Mudpuddle”
They posess neither warmth, depth or clarity.
That one’s really good.
I can get behind this. I feel like I can’t imagine a gangster saying it though, which is sort of a requirement for a replacement for mf’er
Speciesist connotations
Lol the downvotes here! Some people in the comments really didn’t like this.
…just swear all fucking ready.
You’re all a bunch of scuzz-junkin’ puppy touchers.
Swearing is fine what the fuck (just demonstrating). It’s more about trying to avoid offending demographics of individuals or upholding oppression/oppressive views.
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You’re such a wank-clown. (Among the least common combos.)
Criminally underutilized
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Now you’ve gone and done it, you dumb goblin.
Stop it you butt bag!
You’d think shitwit would be more popular. Unfortunately it’s close to “pissshit.”
Who is scrolling reddit calling people “dipclown” or “trumpstick”?
They’re not unused, and that is unsettling.
- Puppy toucher
- Scuzz junkie
- Seat sniffer
- Lostprophet
- Arsebagel
- Enjoyer of Other People’s Sheep
- Soldier of 4chan
- Doucheballoon
- His Imperial Knobnobblin, Huffboy Crustmaster Studmuffin of the Lousewortshire¹ Studmuffins
- Trumpie
¹ Pronounced “Loser”
Soldier of 4Chan is devastating
Upvote for Scuzzjunkie.
The hell is scuzz? S-tier cuzzin?
Beats me. It has no discernible meaning as far as I know. Yet if you called me a scuzzjunkie with any sort of conviction, I’d feel affronted.
Motherfucker, what the motherfucking fuck are you fucking on about?
Are you some kind of fatherfucker with this fatherfucking fuckery?
“Asshole” is a personal favorite.
Nailed it on the head
Well there’s always the simplification to just fucker
parent shagger?
I think the more “valued” or preferred part of an insult is rather its phonetic or expressive aspect rather than the semantic one. Of course the semantic parts plays a role, as well, but the need to use stressed syllables to express oneself, or simply vent out the emotion, far surpasses the need to utter a semantically-accurate syllable or word to badmouth someone or something.
See here from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
It is a beautiful insult that can vent out the emotions, or can be used for fun among friends etc. that uses no semantics to insult people, but uses very mouthful words to stress and some unfocused (as in not targeting any types of people) pragmatics, like insulting someone by insulting their parents, and insulting them as such making them out to be not something they are (was an x, smelt).
So, whatever semantically gender-neutral alternative you are looking for, consider to have a very strong expressive aspect to it that sticks to tongue.
