I’m not asking for advice or sympathy, I just need to vent.

So near the beginning of the year, I started dry heaving every morning. I’d get up, go to the bathroom, feed the dogs and then it happened. Nothing ever came up. I was concerned, so I made a gastric appointment, but, of course, that was months away.

In the intervening time, I stopped eating. I didn’t eat for 21 days. I was living off of Gatorade and Ensure. I could drink, but the very thought of eating made me feel sick and actually trying was just not possible.

But then that stopped and I just went back to the heaving and had to wait until June to see the gastric doc. Actually a nurse. She scheduled me for a scope in July, which is when they discovered the ulcer. They put me on Protonix, which is a protein pump inhibitor. It did precisely nothing about the heaving.

So now I’m not eating again. I got an emergency meeting on Monday with the doctor who did the scope and he was totally unconcerned and told me, for a $50 copay mind you, to add Mylanta to my medication and call him in 2 weeks. I can barely choke it down and I’m still heaving and I’m still not eating.

And I can’t even drink Ensure anymore. I did last night and felt so sick. Also I fucking hate Gatorade so much, but I found out that the reason the taste is so strong is to cover the awful, awful taste of whatever the electrolyte mixture is because you can totally taste it with Propel.

My wife did research and loss of appetite is indeed a symptom of gastric ulcers, which may be why the doctor didn’t seem to care, but wow does this suck.

No other appointments with any other gastric doc within a 90 minute drive is available within the next two weeks. Two weeks from Tuesday will be another 21 days. Maybe I’ll go for a new record this time.