Yikes. Sounds like girl needs to join a coding forum or something for the technical help, address her pacing struggles with the teacher, and not say such things to you even as a joke.
Edit: She needs help if she’s actually serious and it’s not hyperbole or even if she’s genuinely just overwhelmed. Friends can help of course and I’m sympathetic but I feel like without boundaries and proper supports in place this lady could bring you down with her
Yeah… You seem like a good friend but please take care of yourself here and watch out. Don’t be the only friend she goes to and maybe distance yourself a bit.
Sorry if this is unwanted advice. It’s just in my twenties I had friends who were chaotic and insisted on using me as the go to while refusing to let me link them with more appropriate supports, and I burned out so hard I had to drop them. Then I was the one not coping.
Assuming she’s able bodied and not incapacitated by her mental health your friend has choices here.
Even if they’re not something she wants to do, such as deferring for a while, withdrawing/failing and retaking the course, changing courses, or withdrawing/failing and going into work instead. I’m not sure how everything works now but she has options.
If she’s both physically disabled and her mental health is unmanaged/unmanageable she might actually be fucked but also you have the right to maintain boundaries and your own wellbeing.
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FWIW, they really sound like a programmer.
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Yikes. Sounds like girl needs to join a coding forum or something for the technical help, address her pacing struggles with the teacher, and not say such things to you even as a joke.
Edit: She needs help if she’s actually serious and it’s not hyperbole or even if she’s genuinely just overwhelmed. Friends can help of course and I’m sympathetic but I feel like without boundaries and proper supports in place this lady could bring you down with her
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Yeah… You seem like a good friend but please take care of yourself here and watch out. Don’t be the only friend she goes to and maybe distance yourself a bit.
Sorry if this is unwanted advice. It’s just in my twenties I had friends who were chaotic and insisted on using me as the go to while refusing to let me link them with more appropriate supports, and I burned out so hard I had to drop them. Then I was the one not coping.
Assuming she’s able bodied and not incapacitated by her mental health your friend has choices here.
Even if they’re not something she wants to do, such as deferring for a while, withdrawing/failing and retaking the course, changing courses, or withdrawing/failing and going into work instead. I’m not sure how everything works now but she has options.
If she’s both physically disabled and her mental health is unmanaged/unmanageable she might actually be fucked but also you have the right to maintain boundaries and your own wellbeing.
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she’s a drama queen
If you don’t have a lot of choices due to the service being subsidised some providers can be terrible. There’s also a shortage plus high demand.
But a lot of them do Zoom now. I think she just doesn’t want to. It’s easier to demand informal supports from a friend to just vent
Edit: Obligatory warning against using Better Help though
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Yeah, I completely understand the mental barrier thing. But it is something she has to do herself. You’re doing what you can
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Talk like that concerns me. I don’t find it funny, tell her to not ever say anything like that in jest
and if she is being manipulative I would cut her as a friend.
What does she want from you?
If she doesn’t overtly ask for something what do you think she trying to manipulate you into doing?
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encouragement is what she needs, not comfort
“You can do it!”
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