Same for hippos.
Hippos are monsters. They kill for the joy of killing. They’re vegetarians! They kill as many humans in Africa every year as crocs.
They spray their shit around by spinning their tiny tail as they shit, like a shit-filled garden hose.
They are moist and gross. Their call is laughing maniacally at the world. Moo Deng is damp Chucky without thumbs.
Obligatory link - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_finger
Don’t let a Seal bite you.
“Seal finger was first described scientifically in 1907. It can cause cellulitis, joint inflammation, and swelling of the bone marrow; untreated, the course of “seal finger” is slow and often results in a thickened, contracted joint. Historically, seal finger was treated by amputation of the affected digits once they became unusable…”
swelling of the bone marrow
I now have the cursed knowledge that bone marrow can swell, what the fuck.
Who knew seals made bone hurting juice.
Sounds like that would be particularly painful.
If it can hold water, it can swell
There was this docureality about seal hunters in the Arctic on Norwegian television a few years back. One of the crew contracted “Spekkfinger” and they had to travel a day to Iceland to drop him off. Apparently there still is a demand somewhere for greenland seal as there was a few boats that the show followed. And they had a crew with cook and all.
I now plan to use “the morals of a seagull” whenever I can
But seagulls have no morals
Oooo, sepi gets it!
Which seals do you mean, the pinnipeds or the US soldiers? The post of vampireapologist isn’t very clear about it.
The intelligence of a toddler and the morals of a seagull
I think he is pretty clear
Well to be fair seals are a special kind of asshole among assholes. Some of the coast guard are chill, and the vast majority of the active forces are literally 18 and 19 year old children. Literally too useless to get an actual job. The only ones that stick around are either the assholes among assholes or the functionally unemployable.
Just google leopard seal. Its like a cross between a grizzly and a large shark
That’s why otters are superior.
For the dolphins (porpoises) of this conversation are we taking a cat as being more or less cunning, intelligent and conniving than a toddler?
So, if sea lions are literally sea lions,
Seals are, sea panthers?
Except of course leopard seals, obvs.
(Making allowance for extra weight of blubber necessary for temperature control in the ocean)
Elephant seals still just elephants
Very bitey elephants
But I’m more interested in their take on vampires. I hope it’s not twilight stuff.
