Alternative version:

I didn’t know what to write. I already told everyone I loved my feelings, why should I do that again? Instead, I wrote to all the people I didn’t know, the ones I think about a lot. I heard that girl say something stupid. I saw that guy ask a girl out and get turned down. I saw that person walk into a glass door, then stumble on the stairs. In fact, I think about those things a lot. Why? I don’t know. But when people tell me I shouldn’t dwell on my past mistakes because nobody else does, I know it’s a lie. I do it all the time, and everyone I know has a story to tell about something they saw at one time. The idea that ‘only you can judge yourself’ pisses me off, because it flies in the face of reality. But then I get told I need to seek professional advice and the first thing I get told is to just stick my head in the sand and that I’m doing this to myself. The irony? This is a huge mistake you and yours have made, and you don’t even know it. And I judge you every second of it.

everyone claps, therapist cries, patient dies, charges filed, murder trial commences, judge has existential crisis, government collapses, world falls apart, etc.

Yeah that totally happened.