- cross-posted to:
- general@lemmy.world
- uk_leftists@feddit.uk
- cross-posted to:
- general@lemmy.world
- uk_leftists@feddit.uk
Something I see a lot in the Fediverse and left wing spheres is people rejecting, or making enemies of imperfect allies. The video I shared paints a great picture of what it’s like.
Here is some examples I’ve seen, and what reactions they’ve been met with.
“I ditched Gmail for Proton” is met with “That’s terrible the CEO is a Trump boot licker”
“Posts on r/BuyCanadian” is met with “Why are you still using Reddit, it’s American?”
“I’m pro trans but, there are some things I’m not 100% onboard with” is met with “Harsh criticism & Ban”
“I sold my diesel SUV for an electric KIA” is met with “You shouldn’t support China or drive a SUV, buy European instead”
“I switched to Brave instead of Chrome” is met with “Brave sucks its American and still part of chromium”
etc.
I so often see people harshly criticize and alienate people that are mostly on their side, and might in the near future be fully on their side.
Instead I’d like to see responses like
“Hey fantastic that you switched to Proton away from Gmail, consider moving to Migadu as they’re an even better solution”
“Awesome that you’re buying Canadian, while you’re at it consider checking out Lemmy or PieFed”
“Great job switching to Electric, next time consider buying a smaller European car there are many great reasons why they are better”
“Great that you’re pro-trance, what’s stopping your from being onboard with XYZ? Maybe I can change your mind?”
“Nice Brave is already a lot better than Chrome, even better would be LibreWolf, also make sure to try out Kagi or Qwant instead of google”
You don’t change someone’s mind by criticizing them, you need to have a discussion and bring them over, tone matters. How do we stop these criticisms and alienating imperfect allies?
You must log in or # to comment.
I think we should be calling out these criticisms, and promote an environment where people can take baby steps in the right direction. It’s a marathon not a sprint.
Supportive and constructive “yes! And…” feedback is a skill lots of people would benefit from adopting.
Online spaces often have purity testing and gatekeeping you wouldn’t see in real physical conversations between peers.
Some of it is just people being very focused on their goal, and losing sight of the human meeting them half way.
Some of it is performative, the message isn’t for the person they are speaking at, but rather the silent ocean of lurkers who might come along later.
Some of it is good old fashioned elitism “you are doing it wrong”
I imagine a lack of empathy and ability to map strangers incentives when they differ from the commenter. People can do good things for bad reasons, or they value things you dont like, etc.
Empathy would go a long way to making online spaces more enriching for all
You don’t change someone’s mind by criticizing them
Sometimes you do, if they are self aware enough to accept constructive criticism. I don’t recall ever changing anyone’s mind by being polite, they just ‘agree to disagree’.
Tone matters of course, but it depends on the person and whether or not they respect the other person’s opinion.
Yea Constructive criticism is good and needed, but like you said Tone matters.
It really matters, if you have a hostile/judgemental tone you’re not going to get through to most people.
You aren’t going to get through to most people no matter how you approach it if they disagree with you. Positive social change doesn’t happen through polite discourse.
I don’t think it’s that black and white, my mind has definitely been changed through polite discourse.
Positive social change isn’t changing one person’s mind.
Polite discourse with conservatives accomplishes nothing for example. They just ignore everything until it affects them personally, and then there is the slightest chance of them actually considering the arguments.
Sure if you talk to bigots you might not be able to change their mind, but labelling someone as a bigot before checking could alienate a potential ally.
I feel we might be going a lil off topic here, my point wasn’t specific to Left vs Right.
It’s more a general point to not attack imperfect allies but constructively try to guide them.
Eg. I often on here see people talk about reddit or link to reddit, only to be attacked for still using Reddit. Come on? This person is a Ally, they’re using Lemmy/PieFed and probably moving away from Reddit but not yet ready to fully jump ship.
Let’s not shit on people who use Reddit alongside PieFed/LemmyPositive social change can be changing one person’s mind.
If all of us change just one persons mind, and they at some point in their life change another persons mind, that could change the mind of a whole population over time, every small victory counts and adds up.
