You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
Such a good song. Kind of fucked up to listen to on a morning commute tho xD
I fucking wish I was 30
46*
I’m exactly like that, and I find it so strange. Usually, the brain adepts to a new situation, and that isn’t exactly new.
I plan everything as if I did not have ADD, and have done so even before I was diagnosed and had meds.
“…you’re
3050”Joke’s on you, I’m like that at 47.
Came here to say this… my job is done already so I’ll scroll along…
I have a diagnosis but meds didn’t work, possibly because i live a pretty much sheltered life and was never forced into work, i did some jobs but i never lasted more than a year. The last 3 years i spent smoking weed and postponing my waking up. Now i’m trying psychotherapy again and i’ve been prescribed efexor.
But i feel more hopeless and spent than ever. I can’t feel interest nor curiosity about anything. Social interactions are pain, and what’s worse is that even with my closest friends it is now like that. I just feel like I’m not interested or capable of conversing with them, cause I feel no interest in any thing anymore…
So maybe you need to artificially create some sort of panic in your life. I look at your life and am jealous of the things discribe but you seem to be wanting in on what Im going through. So if that’s the case just need to be constantly panicked about something.
But i am panicked about everything, about my brain fog, my incapability of communicating or even wanting to comunicate with people, inability to cope with the world materially and morally crumbling down.
And mostly, panicked about my inability to not feel numb constantly about my panic
Im not a medical professional, first off. I dont really think you need to be panicked Im just saying you need something inside telling you this is urgent. That thing needs to float above all other things. For me, its easy because from the moment I wake up and its not there I will immediately lose my job and spiral out. Its an exaggeration, but really its not. If that drive isn’t there every waking moment its like letting go of the wheel while Im driving through the mountains. Sure I might make it 10-20ft.
But Id also say, its not great.
Mmm i get it know yeah, that stimuli that pushes you forward, fear can be harnessed and not just be a stopping force. Gotta say with the antidepressants starting to work i feel like i have the eneegy to feel and think something else other than desperation, finally
That was my problem off the meds. The intrusive thoughts were constant and crippling. Sure Id like to be un-tethered to this medication but I would really just be taking off the leash and shackling on a chain.
A fitting metaphor, if bleak
