We have a simple home(1 floor. 1bath. 2rooms) We live in a calm neighborhood, we don’t own extremely expensive things. And he wants a camera inside our home? For what? This camera can also record audio. We have a child together, we work and we come home. Why do we neeed a camera inside? I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy! I love being silly inside our home. I love yelling. I love singing annoyingly when I’m alone. Should I feel disrespected? Should he feel disrespected? He’s bringing out the “what do you have to hide card”.
See a counselor together. There’s obviously something causing a trust issue, and it’s probably completely minor. A counselor can help you sort it out. My wife and I saw one years ago and it was awesome. We’re on a great path now but often I wish we still saw one with some regularity.
Your analogy about the phone is spot on. You’re not doing anything wrong but do you really want someone seeing your search history about “how long do hemorrhoids last?” Hell nah.
This question belongs in r/relationships I think.
I had the desire for cameras inside and outside cause live in not the worst but not the greatest area. My SO had no real issues with it so we went for it. A few weeks later I noticed myself going into a deep state of depression and it took me a while to realize that the inside cameras was making me very uneasy, feeling like I was being watched. Being a veteran with PTSD there were likely other things that contributed and made the matter even worse but really I felt like I wasn’t even living in my own home. I started tip-toeing, opening/closing doors slowly, and being as quiet as possible just for example. In retrospect this all feels a little dramatic but beforehand I never considered any of that being a possibility and it ended up making me feel a way I didn’t like of course. You need to talk with (not “at”) your SO about what they want and why they want it and then express your concerns whether that’s your feelings, emotions, safety, and/or something different with your SO. Discuss how there could be impacts not yet realized too. There is compromise here if some level of psychological safety is practiced on both ends.
I have found great relief being able to remotely connect and make sure things are ‘OK’. For example, we were away during a tornado. Another time, my hot water heater leak alarm went off, I was able to log in and verify that it was a false alarm.
Out of respect for my partner, I keep the mics off, unless I specifically turn them on to check.
I understand OPs hesitations.
I have done the following
- camera firmwares have been tweaked and are now local only and stream to my Home Server and all other access from other devices is blocked
- external access only via VPN. No Apps, no cloud etc
- notifications are sent over the cloud but hold only an alert, no Screenshots
- cameras are turned off when me or my partner are within 100m of our home. I did this with a simple USB switch so the cameras are getting no power at all.
- persistent notifications Camera On on different devices.
- using a good Firewall and a SIEM to monitor devices, traffic and access.
Maybe OP would be OK with a similar setup. I had wanted to use cams for presence and person detection but my partner vetoed that pretty quick.
I balanced my desires for privacy and security by adding power controls to smart cameras.
When I’m home and awake, the cameras get deprived of electricity.
When I’m asleep upstairs or out of the house, power is restored for extra protection.
If you have to ask us….
The only I would trust is the eve HomeKit hksv camera and set it to off when anyone is home. Video data is encrypted on device before it sent to the internet and can only be accessed via your devices.
There is no way I would agree to that.
Hahaha someone is cheating 😭
my wife requested cams in the home. they are in the Kitchen, the attached garage, and in the lower hall pointed at the back patio door.
she checks them from the car via the VPN if the house looks odd when she gets home.
we both travel alot.
these are all Axis cameras, running to a dedicated machine in the mechanical room. we’re running a dedicated Untangle firewall to deter intrusions on the network.
Motion detector at best.
Motion detectors won’t tell you that your smoke alarms are going off or which one of your dogs has learned to open the fridge. lol
Why the hell are you asking social media if you should offended by something?
This is the wrong subreddit for this. You need to talk to your husband and probably marriage counselling. This is gaslighting from your husband for your very valid concern.
I don’t feel like this is the wrong subreddit. Our subreddit should not only talk about how to enable everything automation, but also about the valid concerns of doing so in some cases.
I don’t think anyone reasonable would say this is not a valid concern. Hence this is a relationship problem, not a tech problem.
You can add as many kill switch as you want, but that doesn’t mitigate the risk of being video in your own home.
I absolutely agree. It is a relationship problem in the end. But what I find quite enlightening about this discussion here is the clear reasoning why it is not a good idea for many reasons. The advantage of “why not” just doesn’t even technically hold up compared to all the problems of “not secure against hacks”, “not really covering classical home security” or “just one person in control” and all the other ones I forgot. If the guy does not listen to his wife’s feelings (which is terrible…), then maybe at least when she has great arguments against it.
Maybe it’s just me, but my primary concern with this is actually the child. I don’t think it’s wise to video a child in their own home, they aren’t an adult and cannot consent. There are SO many things wrong with husband wanting to do this, but the one thing that sticks out is the kiddo.
We have cameras all over our house. But, whenever anyone is home, they have no power. We physically cut the power to all cameras.
We use the cameras for monitoring our home while away, mainly to detect fires or water leaks.
I once had a neighbor who would set up a camera on his kitchen counter when away on long trips. Pointing at the sink bowl. To detect backups. Which were frequent in our building. And he lived on the lowest floor.
Better than coming home to brown sludge.