“I can only read books for children” is the opposite of pretentious lmao

There’s many British authors, with a huge variety in styles of writing.

Try Alistair MacLean. He was a very fast paced author whose books read like action films (which a lot became), indeed he often wrote the screenplay alongside the novel. I’d recommend his first novel, HMS Ulysses, which is based on MacLean’s experiences on arctic convoys in WWII

With HHGttG try the radio series (upon which the book is based). The cast recording might help you get things a bit straighter.

I agree, there are some British authors I just cannot read. I’ll read through 3 full pages of flowery, pretentious language and realize they have said absolutely nothing story-wise. I half jokingly call Bram Stoker’s Dracula “The Endless Ramblings of Professor Van Hellsing.” I’m glad I pushed through that one, but I have given up on several British classics after only a few pages because I just can’t get into that writing style. It almost feels like reading nonsense/gibberish.

I don’t like that style of writing either (assuming you mean wordy prose that uses quite archaic language) but it’s definitely not just a British thing. It happens in books from all over the world and might be due to the author’s background, time period of the release of the book itself, location of the book’s setting, or the genre. Most books I’ve read with that style have been American; it’s just that they’ve been historical fiction and have emulated the style of the time period they’re writing in.

I don’t think it has anything to do with the authors’ nationalities as much as preference. Or perhaps it takes some getting used to British humour?

I think J.K. Rowling is as straightforward as it gets, and Douglas Adams is straightforward hilarious. Then again I also think Salman Rushdie has a wicked sense of humour. I wouldn’t call his style straightforward but can be awfully funny.

For the record I find The Lord of The Rings extremely dry.