I’m a licensed massage therapist and even I’m picky about who touches me and who massages me. Some people have a good intuitive touch and some people have a toxic creepy selfish touch.
And when I massage other people professionally, I’m still a human, and there’s still a few moments at the beginning where we both have to melt into a healing therapeutic mindset.
Again, I say I have received some pretty shitty massages before, to the point I rarely if ever want to receive another massage again, but I have no idea what it feels like for other people when I massage them other than the feedback they give me, or they leave feedback with my manager at the front desk and/or on anonymous computer form, and the feedback has been all positive and clients request me and return for more.
Oh, I trust you, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do what you love and are great at doing.
I guess as someone that can relate to OP, it’s not appropriate to open up about such deep emotional feelings to someone who isn’t in a position to handle them, i.e. your coworkers wife, or anyone really that you don’t trust more than anything, which for most men is their partner.
Maybe just a platonic massage where a guy can just have a good cry for an hour would help. For me personally though that would be difficult as like I said, trust is huge and I generally want to build that with someone that also wants to continue that. With therapists the trust is legally there so I’m at least more comfortable with that fact with them.
I guess I don’t really know what different types of massages are, I’ve never had one as it doesn’t appeal to me. Maybe if men like OP knew about massages that are more about just touch with another person, maybe more emotional release than a like physical therapy massage, then they might seek that. I’ve never seen or heard of that type of thing. I think it would certainly appeal to a lot of guys, but that’s also essential targeting the most difficult demographic you could. It’s like the cure is the problem.
Yeah it’s inevitable, massage is emotionally healing as well as physically healing, as long as the person allows themselves to completely relax & surrender.
Honestly I’ve had some clients who stay rigid & talkative the whole time, which makes it impossible for them to relax & feel the physical & emotional benefits but even then it’s okay because that’s where they are right now, and over time with repeated sessions they will learn how to relax if they want to.
I agree. The man behaved inappropriately. The question is whether a man who behaves inappropriately should then he ostracized as a result, or whether people who are doing better should learn to ride out the discomfort from the inappropriate behavior.
It’s all a personal choice. Nobody should ever be forced into helping. But for each person, cultivating the ability to help will lead to a more
meaningful life.
I really like helping people, and I guess I have whatever it is that makes people so comfortable opening up to me. I get that I have the ability to help so many people, but honestly, holy shit is it tiring. People just open up and tell me so much, it’s exhausting knowing so much about people. Like at work everyone opens up to me about whatever is stressing them out, other coworkers, family, outside things I have no reason to know. If anything, letting people trauma dump is easy, it’s carrying that information afterwards. They go back to just walking around behaving the same but I know everyones secrets as to why they aren’t.
Some people have a good intuitive touch and some people have a toxic creepy selfish touch.
So true.
There’s also the cold disconnected robotic touch, going through motions regardless of the receiver’s response.
I’m not a professional, but for me when I massage someone, there’s usually a lot of empathy involved.
I end up immersing myself in how they feel, how their body reacts, kinda trying to imagine their pains and aches like they were mine.
Idk, I’ve never really thought about it and I’m not sure I have the words to describe that.
Melting with a person who doesn’t melt is a skill. It’s not just a binary working-or-it’s-not situation. It’s like hitting a target with an arrow. More practice leads to more success, and to success in places where only failure was before.
I’m a licensed massage therapist and even I’m picky about who touches me and who massages me. Some people have a good intuitive touch and some people have a toxic creepy selfish touch.
And when I massage other people professionally, I’m still a human, and there’s still a few moments at the beginning where we both have to melt into a healing therapeutic mindset.
Again, I say I have received some pretty shitty massages before, to the point I rarely if ever want to receive another massage again, but I have no idea what it feels like for other people when I massage them other than the feedback they give me, or they leave feedback with my manager at the front desk and/or on anonymous computer form, and the feedback has been all positive and clients request me and return for more.
Oh, I trust you, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do what you love and are great at doing.
I guess as someone that can relate to OP, it’s not appropriate to open up about such deep emotional feelings to someone who isn’t in a position to handle them, i.e. your coworkers wife, or anyone really that you don’t trust more than anything, which for most men is their partner.
Maybe just a platonic massage where a guy can just have a good cry for an hour would help. For me personally though that would be difficult as like I said, trust is huge and I generally want to build that with someone that also wants to continue that. With therapists the trust is legally there so I’m at least more comfortable with that fact with them.
Yes, that’s what I specialize in. Platonic massages. They are so healing.
I guess I don’t really know what different types of massages are, I’ve never had one as it doesn’t appeal to me. Maybe if men like OP knew about massages that are more about just touch with another person, maybe more emotional release than a like physical therapy massage, then they might seek that. I’ve never seen or heard of that type of thing. I think it would certainly appeal to a lot of guys, but that’s also essential targeting the most difficult demographic you could. It’s like the cure is the problem.
Obviously? This is the internet.
Yeah it’s inevitable, massage is emotionally healing as well as physically healing, as long as the person allows themselves to completely relax & surrender.
Honestly I’ve had some clients who stay rigid & talkative the whole time, which makes it impossible for them to relax & feel the physical & emotional benefits but even then it’s okay because that’s where they are right now, and over time with repeated sessions they will learn how to relax if they want to.
I agree. The man behaved inappropriately. The question is whether a man who behaves inappropriately should then he ostracized as a result, or whether people who are doing better should learn to ride out the discomfort from the inappropriate behavior.
It’s all a personal choice. Nobody should ever be forced into helping. But for each person, cultivating the ability to help will lead to a more meaningful life.
I really like helping people, and I guess I have whatever it is that makes people so comfortable opening up to me. I get that I have the ability to help so many people, but honestly, holy shit is it tiring. People just open up and tell me so much, it’s exhausting knowing so much about people. Like at work everyone opens up to me about whatever is stressing them out, other coworkers, family, outside things I have no reason to know. If anything, letting people trauma dump is easy, it’s carrying that information afterwards. They go back to just walking around behaving the same but I know everyones secrets as to why they aren’t.
So true.
There’s also the cold disconnected robotic touch, going through motions regardless of the receiver’s response.
I’m not a professional, but for me when I massage someone, there’s usually a lot of empathy involved.
I end up immersing myself in how they feel, how their body reacts, kinda trying to imagine their pains and aches like they were mine.
Idk, I’ve never really thought about it and I’m not sure I have the words to describe that.
A robotically responding body can be taught to respond organically. Stimulation rearranges nerves.
Melting with a person who doesn’t melt is a skill. It’s not just a binary working-or-it’s-not situation. It’s like hitting a target with an arrow. More practice leads to more success, and to success in places where only failure was before.