I’m in Britain and I really hate the eyelashes, fillers and makeup here for young girls sometimes and the intense pressure I see everywhere to get them. Poor girlies.
I’m in Britain and I really hate the eyelashes, fillers and makeup here for young girls sometimes and the intense pressure I see everywhere to get them. Poor girlies.
Croatia - it is ridiculously safe to walk around as a woman - even at night.
This is not a bad thing at all - but moving from the UK - it took me a while to adjust to not being in ‘hypervigilance’ mode when out and about by myself.
It perplexed me at first as to how this is a thing, but after being here a while I think it comes down to two major factors… the way masculinity is understood in the Balkans, and the way communities work.
On the masculinity front - sure the Balkans have their own particular brand of toxic masculinity - but boys are taught from an early age that it’s pathetic to harass/insult women, it just isn’t cool to make sexual comments or to push yourself on a woman if she turns you down in a bar or something. You just look ‘weak’ and lose status as a ‘man’ if you do. Especially if you lose your cool.
As for communities. There is very little ‘bystander’ effect when it comes to anyone acting like an asshole in public - whereas in the UK they teach you to shout ‘fire’ if you’re being attacked outside as that’s more likely to draw people towards you than if you call for help, in Croatia you can expect that if someone sees anyone looking remotely in distress, or hears a sound like there’s someone in distress nearby - they’re going to intervene. Coupled with the aforementioned view of harassing women as a sign of being pathetic - to the point where most Croats (and to be fair most Serbs & Bosnians too) would be so disgusted by such behaviour they’re likely to beat the shit out of a dude that attempts to do so - it’s a pretty effective deterrent. Plus if the perpetrator is known to the community then that’s like a fast-track route to being socially excluded - and it’s incredibly hard to live your life in this country without a solid community around you. This isn’t just regarding women though - in general anti-social behaviour of any kind isn’t tolerated - across all age groups.
Domestic violence rates are comparable to the rest of Europe, and men will still comment on women’s bodies in public - just not to the woman’s face, and they don’t generally ‘ogle’ women they find attractive the way men freely do in the UK - but yeah, like I say, it was weird to get used to being more relaxed in public/seeing other women so relaxed in public - walking home by themselves late at night and stuff.
I should also add that Balkan women are generally pretty badass and that’s a factor too - they don’t tend to take much shit. It’s not like it’s just men policing this - women will intervene as well and if you try to harass a Croatian woman you can expect to be chewed out pretty viciously on the spot.
This is very interesting!
I’m also from the UK moving to Croatia in February, thank you for sharing some of your views, it’s really interesting to hear from a similar point of view :)
I had the same culture shock moving from outside DC to Amsterdam… Both cities are huge with lots of people and tourists. But in Amsterdam, it is so different. In DC, it always seemed like people were looking to start an argument. Here in Ams, you are lucky if the person walking past you looks up and makes eye contact 😂😅 Now they think I am the weird one because I greet folks as I pass (but its pretty international in the city so it really doesn’t shock anyone either)
That is a big city/small city thing in the Netherlands, I’m from Almelo where people greet each other on the street but here in The Hague they don’t.
Almelo, the most famous traffic lights in the Netherlands.
In A’dam, I got winked and smiled at, by a local chic lady in her second youth. Can’t complain…
I’ve always wanted to go to Croatia but you’ve really sold it with this. I just want to wander around in peace. Any other similar countries?
Austria and Slovenia for sure. Probably most others in the region.
You could add Georgia to the list. I’ve had the same experience there, felt safe walking around after sunset (as a woman).
Serbia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Slovenia - I haven’t been to Montenegro myself, but I’d be surprised if the situation was radically different from the rest of former Yugoslavia there. Austria has borders with Slovenia & Croatia too and they’re pretty chill as well if you’re in the area for a while.
I noticed this in Croatia - men check you out snd will come up to you but are also v respectful
They seem pretty masculine in a good way and v tall and handsome
Me likey
I understand what you are saying. When I lived in Belgrade with my daughters, we all felt very safe being out alone at night. No one ever bothered any of us, and, I found a respect towards women that frankly surprised me, as I knew the Balkans had a reputation for macho men. I think you are right when you say that it is not seen as cool to bother women. This also extended itself towards treating the elderly with consideration, and I think this comes from the strong family ties found there. I was also surprised, by the number of young people ( sometimes glamorous young girls, sometimes young boys who looked a bit rough), who could be found popping into a nearby church to pray and light a candle). I experienced genuine warmth in Serbia, and always felt that people would intervene to help.
Yea - it was the macho thing that surprised me too. I think in more ‘western’ cultures there’s like a conflation of ‘machoness’ with being sexually aggressive, but that idea is absent in Croatian/Serbian/Bosnian notions of masculinity.
If you think about it - its actually fairly logical - its less ‘masculine’ to be so desperate that you have to chase/beg/harrass women for attention, and using force against someone who is just physically smaller than you is quite pathetic.
I strongly confirm it’s the case for the rest of the Balkans too.
And in France there is like in UK or worse.
even albania?
One of the safest.
As someone considering solo traveling for a bit, this was awesome to read! Thanks for sharing! My biggest fear of booking is the whole walking alone portion - I’m in the US and I have to be all eyes everywhere even when leaving a grocery store.