I have found that in my own life, happiness requires some level of stability, especially financial stability. I was never comfortable with the lack of a robust social safety net in the US. But I don’t see the connection between stability and flexibility. I have no problem with making last-minute plans, for example, and I think openness to other people is important. Maybe I’m not understanding you, but you seem to be making a connection between two things that don’t seem obviously connected to me.

I don’t think people in said countries needs your approval to have a fun life. I find lots of Americans dull and boring because they constantly try to convince other how fan-tas-tic they are and how exiting their lives are.

Many people are just unimaginative and dull. As an American living in Zürich (3 years), it seems Switzerland attracts these kinds of people and culture. That’s why this country hasn’t ever produced nor will ever produce anything culturally noteworthy (cheese and chocolate don’t count, and they’re not even that good).

People that want more from those countries tend to move away and travel, or go to US. This can be quite stifling atmosphere for ambitious people. Then when they get tired (and maybe accomplished) they go back into the comfort.

What kind of flexibility are you looking for exactly? And what do you mean with they are too serious?

I come from a country that I’d describe as unpredictable and chaotic, I know some people think that is exciting, but I found it stressful. You need to be resilient and flexible to thrive.

When I first came to live here 4 years ago, I really appreciated the relative predictability and stability of things (relative to where I came from). Despite many things following a schedule, I don’t feel rushed.

As for openness and acceptance of other cultures, I’d say they’re fairly open here, and you can freely practice your culture as long as you don’t force it on others and you don’t insist that the government make laws based on your beliefs, especially if they go against the values of the society you moved to.

I like that same sex unions, abortion and euthanasia are legal in the country where I’m now residing. I like that I can go to the beach topless and nobody will make a fuss about it. I like that I can speak in whatever language in I want in public and not be yelled at to “Speak Dutch” or “Go back where you’re from.”

I appreciate the stability and the predictability because it allows for more free time to spend with family and friends, to engage in hobbies, to travel.

OP, if you’re confused, I suggest you look into the economic and political history of Switzerland.

If you pause and think objectively about what Switzerland is, you might find yourself with an interesting question. That is, how is it that a tiny alpine landlocked country, whose population has never been above about 9 million people, and has never been at the centre of a great empire as an Imperial power, ended up becoming the diplomatic and economic powerhouse it is today?

I mean, the US has a GDP per capita of 70kish - whereas in Switzerland, its 90kish. Not to mention Switzerland has topped the Global Economic Innovation index every year since 2015.

…so perhaps a ‘winner takes it all’/‘we’re all the main character’ culture is actually a little bit less profitable in big picture terms than a culture that values stability and cohesion?

Germany, the Netherlands, Japan are some of the most densely populated areas in the world. If you are in a very crowded place then people prefer common rules on how to behave so they don’t step on each others feet.

In vast countries like Russia and the US there to tend to be less rules, you need to improvise, define you own rules.

This historic national experience has been carried on until today and become part of the culture. It really depends on your personality in which cultures you can thrive.

Because Swiss.

I find a stable life without any unnecessary chaos to be fulfilling, even here in America. I try very hard to not surround myself with manic people who will only invite chaos into my life. I’m 23, so most of my peers act that way, but I prefer a life of cold order.

Aren’t most ppls lives boring but stable once they are married w children? Only the very rich can still afford entertainment, lots of travel, expensive clothes, baby sitters etc once they have children

Don’t bother trying to fit in. Not gonna happen. It’s less that they “hope you’ll fit in” and more “they truly can’t imagine anything else” (Source: used to live in Sweden, know exactly what you’re getting on about). Imagination among average people anywhere is generally quite limited though, it just takes this form in Germanic Europe.

The Germanic rigidity/emphasis on conformity/strong nature of “in-group.” I think stems from their tribal days back some 1500-2000 years ago as barbarian raiders on the fringes of the Roman Empire and on Europe’s geographic peripheries in general.

In contrast, Roman citizenship was far more permissive and flexible with regard to who is one; a mindset that definitely continues to influence Latin Europe today.

This mindset is actually hinted at in the Bible of all places, by Paul the Apostle during his travels throughout the empire. He actually described his treatment as a Roman citizen when in dispute with the authorities (in comparison to his similarly Jewish, non-citizen counterparts) and how having Roman citizenship gave him A LOT more benefit of the doubt.

Hope this helps explain it!

I find the need of immigrants to change the way of life of the locals to fit their own way of life (eg their old way of life):

1. Arrogant. Are you sure your way of doing things is better? The locals have been living in their cultural biotope for ages surely there are advantages to how they live their life? How would you know that your shortsighted (ie you’ve been there too short) “improvements” are actually better?

2. Conservative. Wanting the natives to adopt your way of life is actually a form of conservativism. You’re the one who moved there, surely you came there to experience change? Yet here you are trying to change everything back to how it is at home.

3. Blind. You should assume you will never completely understand local culture, simply because you’re looking at it through your own cultural lens. This leads many immigrants to conclusions that are inexplicably wrong. The problem is you can never be sure if you are wrong, because you don’t know what you don’t know.

All these things lead me to believe you should always be very careful when trying to change local culture. Even when you think you are right and “improve” things, you might still end up being wrong.

what is happy??

I’m autistic and have OCD, so I find the order and predictability of Central Europe to be one of the best parts, tbh. 😂

I think one of the things I find most stressful about the US is how many people have Main Character attitude. In most places I’ve been in Europe, there’s actually a lot more freedom of expression as far as things like the way you dress go, but there’s an expectation not to make a scene, attract attention to yourself, or infringe on other people just trying to go about their day, and in general, I appreciate that.

I mean, I first moved to the US as a high school exchange student because I found my teenage existence in small-town Norway to be, frankly, a bit boring. It’s not that there weren’t things to do, it’s just that a lot of it was organized and at fixed (sports, music lessons and such) or things that didn’t interest me (partying, getting drunk, doing drugs.) If you wanted to do things that weren’t “normal”, you’d probably be doing them alone. I was a computer geek, but we had no computer clubs or similar. Perhaps I could’ve tried to start one. But being a geek wasn’t “cool” back then; in fact, it was something I got bullied for.

One thing I like about the US is that American culture encourages individualism. It encourages you to do your own thing. There’s not the same pressure to fit into an existing mold.

In fact, I’d say that’s a large reason why I live in the US today, not in Norway.