Then go back home

This looks like something I might have posted a few years ago.
We (50F, 51M, 11g and 11b) live in the south of Spain now. Very happily.
You can DM me if you want.

Don’t ever not do something because of your age. In a few years you will look at 40 and think “I was a baby”. Just do it. Any age, any stage.

The U.S. is not particularly safe. It’s about middle of the road at 128.

I moved to China at 41 and started over. Best thing I ever did. Love my life.

I did it at 56 and it’s been great so far.

Imagine being this naive at that age ….

I moved from the US to Belgium last year at 38.5 years old and it’s been great. The thing about moving tho: wherever you are, there you are. So if you have a negative and critical outlook on life, you will have it no matter where you go.

my exp is with emerging latin am world; language importance is first so spanish is pretty easy intuitive so it enables smoother learning curve on culture and resources. your kids have language in school and or easy learners. they are important factors as in adjustment is slow as it should be. As tech opens up pathways in fortunate communities world over you enter that space no matter destination country you live in. find value in reliable fast internet *verified* surprisingly competition exists and norms void of data caps exist! An economic rank is most significant as to what level of corruption you will know about and or experience there. usa has a “fear template” in my exp, unlike other countries increasingly so too, too much downside to list. more established cultures have clear traditional norms that do not denigrate peaceful life, super good in contrast w usa. and your position in pecking order equates to money. be carefully secretive about this though not to worry neurotically, that is endemic in usa as well

Yes all governments are corrupt to an extent and the rich get richer everywhere even in socialist “utopias” like the NL (source: I live here). Right wing leaders and fascism are also on the rise in many European countries.

Firstly, pick where and how you want to live.

Visit there a couple of years before the move. Alone and with the kids. Get an idea for the local schools, visit the schools and confirm places before your move, leverage the private system if in doubt. Identify where and how you’ll be financing yourself. Look at visa constraints.

Then look at the local activities and pattern of migration - are there new adults with kids the same age moving to the place where you want to live (so you don’t just have to break into existing friendships dating back to pre-school) are there activities that your kids would like to do there. Are the local population engaged in these activities?

Then look at your support network, how will you balance work life, school/afterschool activities, logistics. What support will you need, language, au pairs, parents, other parents etc. are there welcoming meetings and times in the year when it’s best to arrive (school pattern etc)

What will you need in the first 18 months that the kids will be getting settled? How distant is the culture from your own (not just national cultures, but professional experience, income distribution, social norms of behaviour).

Ask for help in the local population and start integrating / making friends before you move. (Clubs and societies help with this).

Try Europe.

Do it! Life doesn’t end at 40

If it’s actually worse, you move back to your home country. I left the US for similar reasons and am very happy in Canada. However, if Canada changes then I’ll just go back home.

Are all governments corrupt?

Yes, to some extent. Check out the transparency.org corruption index. And then look up whether those countries have had corruption scandals in the last few years. All of them have.

Is the US particularly corrupt? No.

Are they all at risk of war?

It’s always a risk. In some places the risk is quite small. I don’t think war is going to break out in New Zealand or Uruguay any time soon.

Are rich people and corporations given legal passes and tax breaks everywhere?

Yes. And before someone tells you about Western/Northern Europe, look at how their wealthiest people manage their wealth via ‘foundations’.

Is there gang violence, racism and sexism everywhere?

Of course. Germany, Sweden, New Zealand and Australia (to name a few) all have well-publicised gang issues that are regularly reported in the media.

I want to live without fear that my kids could be killed by some idiot with guns

Is that a serious risk where you live? If so, how many people do you know personally who were killed by guns? Don’t mistake media-stoked fear for an actual statistical risk.

I want our family to live a life free from servitude just to to pay for car+home+health insurance and not worry we could die simply because we couldn’t afford to pay the highest price for medical care in the world

That’s fair. If that is your priority, try and move somewhere with a public health system like Australia, the UK or New Zealand.

I want to be more than fuel for capitalism

You won’t avoid that in any capitalist country.