I’ll go with the low-hanging fruit: Mein Kampf. I’ve read it, cover to cover. As a piece of propaganda, it’s good. As an example of good writing? Absolutely not (though I will admit I have only read it in translation). Oh, and the whole fascist, racist, and generally shitty worldview of the author that he infuses into the text. And the fact that the author is literally Hitler. You 5-star that book? You’re a Nazi. Period. And as a Jewish person, I don’t look too kindly on them.
Just to be different (and maybe controversial) How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
It is praised by people hot on Social Engineering and two kinds of people praise it. Those who want to selfishly use its tools for their own ends and those who think it is actually high ethics, and will later challenge this belief.
I don’t think it’s a controversial book, just a misleading title. It doesn’t really teach techniques on how to manipulate people. It’s more of a reminder that you attract more bees with honey than vinegar.
IMO manipulation is more about intent than ability. Any socially-capable person could manipulate others, but it’s not manipulation unless you’re trying to deceive them.
I can convince people to do what I want fairly easily, but I don’t hide it usually. I just make it so that our motivations line up.
I mean the book was written for people that grew up poor or socially isolated and made it to a low or mid management position by being good at following a system rather than motivating people around them. Most of the practices the book talks about are already common in a lot of areas with middle class or upper middle class families.
True enough lol. I grew up kind of socially isolated (in a fairly strict sect of Christianity) so I found the book very helpful. It has had a significant impact on my life because it laid foundations for me that my parents really should have lol.
I had the same experience, that it filled in the gaps my parents didn’t teach.
I read it in between high school and college coming from a poor community and it helped me immensely.
I think it’s good, and it’s helped me with some conflict resolution and getting better at being who I want to be socially, but it’s not a 5 star book except in it’s own category, where I would say it’s one of the best self-help books because it doesn’t advocate anything unethical that I can recall. But I think anyone who rates a self-help book 5 stars with no qualifiers has definitely made that book’s advice their whole personality.
I think this is an interesting one, because I think it’s another somewhat misunderstood book. It shouldn’t be selfishly used, and it shouldn’t be high ethics (pretty simplistic takes).
It’s not supposed to be about manipulation, but actually just doing some basic stuff. Remember people’s names, be interested in other people (not ‘act’ interested, which is how some people misinterpret), etc. People who are like, “Oh, I’m terrible with names,” often are just too self-involved to make the effort.
I feel like this book is helpful for a lot of people who didn’t learn basic social skills for whatever reasons, but is misused by many who think the ‘Influence People’ part is a game (which is understandable from the title).
Unfortunately, I have been encountering more and more people that keep it for its influencing aspects. Thoughtful folk, I suspect, give it a 4-star rating and consider how to best use its stories.
It is not a bad book for socially awkward people since it teaches the basic rules of social interaction that a lot of less awkward folk take for granted. I was a college RA in an elite university, and it was amazing how much social isolation could be improved by following that book’s advice. I’d put that book in the mostly harmless to positive category of self help books. It’d be more concerned with someone who pairs it with more Machiavellian books like 48 Laws of Power.
I actually think it is one of the best self-help books I have ever read and it definitely helped me change for the better. (That said, the absolutely vast majority of self-help books are utter trash so that is not even that high of a praise.)
I am in neither camp. I just didn’t have any good role models growing up. I had to read up on how to be nice to people because that isn’t something I learned how to do as a child.
One shouldn’t follow the book to religiously but for people with lack of social skills it is one of the better books. At least compared to all the pickup crap.
I have a different criticism of the book. I found very little of it was actually profoundly insightful to where you would be able to use it. I think one of the most profound things I remember from the book is talking about how much everybody loves to hear their name, but I feel like most people intuit stuff like that, they just don’t follow the advice in the book, much less remembering people’s names. Just as insightful would be to say “people will like you more if you remember their name” well yeah, no shit, that doesn’t help me remember their name
I’m reading a book right now (The Recognitions by William Gaddis) in which one of the characters reads Dale Carnegie’s book and the author uses this as a platform to lambast it for several pages. Here’s a sample:
I had never even heard of this book before reading about it so it’s kind of funny to see it show up here.
If they actually read the book, though, it teaches against that kind of selfishness.