🎶🎵 Welcome to my shop! Let me trim your mop! Let me shave your crop! DAINtily! 🎵🎶

“One dead CEO.”

“Many more to go.”

Just quoting my favorite construction equipment, please don’t ban.

FUCKING EMBARRASSING!

“Hey Ross, when you were yelling ‘piv-AT piv-AT,’ what did you mean?”

Ever heard of the cable channel TLC? You might change you assessment…

They do. They’re just drones, tho.

Remember the poors killing that sweet, innocent healthcare denier? Well, DON’T!

LOOK! DRONES!

Well I’ll be hornswoggled in duck sauce! Asked and delivered!

Which fictional billionaire has more money, Forest Gump, or Bruce Wayne? This is the head to head i want to see.

“Taylor Hanson is a boy?!? OH GAWD…!”

Isn’t this happening mostly over Jersey? And why doesn’t the night sky look like Baghdad, circa 2003…?

Blue Cross backpedaled real fuckin’ hard on the whole “we won’t pay for your surgeries anesthesia” things right after.

What? I haven’t fallen into a toilet once since they created the TSA. Those seatbelts are a life saver.

Ark is a masterclass on how to make a video game that’s actively hostile towards its user base.

Terroristic threats! Bake him away, toys!

As a nearly decades long veteran of Ark, I’m beyond familiar with characters that look like an amalgamation of Jabba the Hutt and a russet potato.

Ray Man! Aw!

Fighter of the White Man! Aw!

Champion of your bum!

I’ve seen it said that people create three types of characters in online character creation: first is just themselves. We’ve all done it. Second is a celebrity or character from an IP. Think of all the Shreks, Peter Griffins and Samuel Jackson’s that were being shared when baldurs gate 3 came out. Third is an unholy monstrosity that’s just every slider at the extremes.

Jingle chain 🎶

Jingle chain🎵

Jingle chain of command! 🎶

Fuckin’ A.