I’m not particularly tech savvy and I found it confusing and hard to parse at first. It was worth it to figure out, because fuck Reddit, but I can understand people struggling with it, especially at first.

Have you read any books on polyamory or listened to podcasts about it?

I would recommend looking at the following: Unicorns-r-us.com The Multiamory podcast Some book suggestions: Opening Up, More Than Two (there is massive controversy around one of the authors, but it’s still a very solid book to most), or Love in Abundance

I will warn you that with what you just wrote, a lot of these may make you feel attacked. I hope you’re able to look past that, absorb, relook at your post, and see if you still have those questions or if you have new ones now.