I was assaulted again several times today, including struck in the head with a metal pot & punched in the back of the head.

I’m being targeted with genocide. They want to change me in a way that isn’t possible, and are getting angry. They aren’t able to kill me though, and are using remaining control in pathetic attempts at harm. I’m here to make things better.

This also relates to presenting Buddhist views to a Christian-majority culture - alternatively, God-majority culture, or God/Atheist culture. There are those who don’t believe a male-homosexual prophet is tolerable or possible.

The level of muscle-tendon tension has been very high the past several years. Dumb ergonomics & poverty workarounds. I go through periods like this.

I need a Linux laptop replaced and bike repaired. Also living with someone who isn’t able to refrain from rage : (.

Thank you to album Amnesiac by Radiohead.

Generosity can be like treading water, any sea color.

Thank you.

If I leave now, I would expect animals living & taking refuge here to be killed. So, this is crucial in addition to avoiding human violence.

Pardon, the context for me is too forced currently to respond to this.

I’m willing to attempt to migrate elsewhere and refraining to speak here. I need to currently though, because I don’t know anywhere that tolerates me speaking. My understanding is that people are struggling to refrain from killing me, and I’m told this many times. May I have public permission to migrating elsewhere?

I’m begging for loving-kindness (metta).

There’s plenty of information & methods available that can be tested or scrutinized. If they fail or are contradictory, that can be disconfirming.

There’s descriptions & methods in religions that can be tested; schools to learn & try these things. You would have to ignore the e.g. hundreds of thousands of scriptures available to say there isn’t any evidence that can be tested. You have to know what something is before being able to falsify it. It can be taken just on a story-level too, and still be effective.

I would like better opportunity to practice.

He struck me in the face, and I’m bleeding. He’s enraged and out of control.

There’s so many who engage with deities in mundane, sober life. Religions/traditions can be strict about sobriety & clear-mindedness. The assumption in the ‘if’ part is false and quite offensive. Religions have their various methods of observing or engaging with deities, and it may take a respectful willingness to try them out. These are beings too, who may regard non-consent to the relationship.

Let me try asking Coyote. Coyote, can you make your existence qua deity more undeniable here? Idk if/when/how he will.

He assaulted me again.

He assaulted me with a knife, then self-harmed with it, some moments ago.

I’m undergoing another session of being threatened, non-responding to the angry monologue at me. The assaulter is standing directly behind me threatening, yelling, & cursing at me for several minutes.

Hopefully the perfect length.

Delusion (moha) is always bad. Withholding information isn’t inherently bad, though if it generates delusion, then it is.

If someone was happily seeing angels when dying, this seems like a positive thing. It’s actually a delusion believing angels - moreso, deities - don’t exist.

There is the mental category śāṭhya in Buddhism, a kind of dishonesty that is always bad.

There is ‘allowed lying’ within games, like the card game ‘Cheat’ (or B.S.), or social deduction games. The vow extends to these sorts of ‘allowed deception’ games - I won’t play (or lie within) them.

There are cases like a trusted doctor lying to a patient as a last-resort to save their life, that can be beneficial. The vow extends to these cases - I won’t lie even to spare lives. I think it’s relatively more beneficial for me to set this extra commitment of honesty, though I don’t think it’s necessarily beneficial for others to take this sort of vow.

I gave Coyote permission to lie to me whenever he wants, because I trust him like that. This is from a personal view though, that he’s an enlightened bodhisattva.

The person who assaults me is watching my activity here.

In the karmic view, generosity automatically returns merit (good karma), which is more guaranteed than money. Money isn’t necessarily valuable - e.g. monetary systems collapsing, theft.

I don’t have a sure ranking of what is the worst thing I’ve done. Tentatively, I think the worst is when living in my first apartment over a decade ago, I bought traps to poison cockroaches there. I don’t think I learned the perception of them as sentient beings at the time. I also think having done catch-and-release fishing during childhood is relatively high, e.g. there were also fish that died after swallowing the hook.