i have been cocooned in bed. don’t know how i’ll be when this burnout is over but i suspect it won’t be a beautiful moth.

My first holiday season after going no contact with my parents. I spent time with my wife and her family and many cousins who love me! It felt safe and warm to be surrounded by people who actually like me— really feel like I made the right choice this year!

Mount Eerie’s album, A Crow Looked at Me, is crushing. Phil Elverum’s wife died shortly after their first child was born. It’s a raw grief album. I listen to this when I need a good cry. https://youtu.be/-1UyUsz0A-A?si=3JY1CLXZIxxKxDl6

Frightened Rabbit’s “Modern Leper” also hits me in the chest.

Well, I crippled your heart a hundred times

And still can’t work out why

You see, I’ve got this disease

I can’t shake and I’m just rattling through life

https://youtu.be/OJNFwGdh4iE?si=e8XZP4fQjH_Naq36

I’ve been spending a lot of time watching horrific video out of Gaza and just crying. The sheer weight of the suffering is staggering.

It feels surreal that i’m meant to log in to my job and click click click for 8 hours…

i’m dogsitting! it’s nice to be there for these two little guys who had been rescued from a neglect situation. it is sad to see how much human contact means to them, but rewarding to keep showing up and building trust.