My pastor said of eugenics that “this is where ideas like evolution lead”. He was trying to “prove” the existence of his god as a sunday message. He’d tried to lay it out as a proof, but all of his points were either tangential (like this one, even if you assume it to be sound) or fallacious.

It was the most wild argument I’ve heard because this wasn’t something he’d just thought of in the moment. He’d prepared a script for this. Someone, presumably, had proofread that script. This, combined with all of the other failed attempts at proof present in the message, was what broke what remained of my faith. So now I can say that I was decoverted by my own pastor, which is wild too!

Skill issue

Width. Most shoes are too narrow and pointy

My childhood best friend was raised in a JW family and eventually became an atheist. He also refers to it as a cult. I’m really proud of him for getting out of it, because doing so was difficult (because of it being a cult!) and took a lot of strength

I am very hungry and dehydrated but I cannot leave my bed

Inspirational! I have an orchid that I purchased at a discount because of its damaged root system. I’ve been caring for it for a few months and it doesn’t seem to be dying so I assume it’s happy. Not as happy as yours though!

My computer is old and slow so loading teams is like elder abuse

Carrots. Plain carrots. It helps that I’m too lazy to get anything to dip them in. They are just so convenient.

A group of humans need to pass through a doorway with two doors. The leading human opens one of the doors and passes through the doorway. The next human follows them through the open doorway, and so does the next, and the one after them. The humans bunch up around the one open door, funneling themselves through it rather than opening the other door right beside it.

Then I, the smartest and best of humans, make use of my divine and otherworldly gifts to open the other door that was right there the WHOLE TIME. Truly I am a gift upon the world. Someone should give me chocolates.

Their not doing it by purpose?!

I am a political wedge issue.

APL exists. To me it’s about as fun as it is painful.

The moon not being made of cheese. The moon is in fact made of cheese. I do not care how much a bunch of nerds insist that it is not made of cheese. I am objectively correct about this and anyone who disagrees is wrong.