ol_capt_joe

Nah, someone’s just summoning John Dillermand

Unless they’re… (pause) … disco snails! 🐌🕺

Well sure, gotta keep your eyes on the road and a knee on the wheel (because the other hand shoving a burger in your mouth)

Putin logic:
The more you lie, the more honest you are.
The more you steal, the more trustworthy you are.
The more you lose, the more winning you are.
(Beat that, gay western men who steal Russian women!)

Passersby*

I think the Trump administration is full of children who should have been left behind. Thanks, Bush!

Considering that mice live for 2-4 years and naked mole-rats can reach 40, one might expect gene therapy to increase lifespan by 10-20x, but in their ‘superflies’ it only increased their 70 day lifespan by a couple weeks. That’s good news for anyone who was worried that Putin and Xi will live over 1000 years.

You know what jeopardizes competitiveness? Ivan the Tariffle, and charging so damn much for the electric models.

Do the right thing, grandma.

Nah these people are morons - instead try: Oh good, finally the first ban, let’s do the crazies next, right? Immigrants, sure. And pedophiles, absolutely. And nazis, obviously, and bolshevik sympathizers. This is good stuff, who else… vegans, feminists, cyclists… Hold on, where’s your copy of project 2025? Don’t have one? Ok, you’re banned too.

Cat here, reporting live from out of the bag

At least you wouldn’t be alone - hat man is with you 🖤

Every word is another attempt to distract from Epstein. He’s not looking well

Hey remember when not everyone agreed that cigarettes cause lung cancer? Who was it that funded research in bad faith to suggest that people should totally not worry and keep buying cigarettes… oh right, the people selling cigarettes.