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Joined 10 months ago
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Cake day: November 27th, 2023

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  • If the person is a woman, it’s not a red flag at all. In fact it’s likely quite green for me, because I know she’s in to kink/BDSM but just has had a poor introduction or an otherwise crap pop culture idea about it, perhaps even one or more terrible past dominant/top partners. With her interest, it’ll be easy to demonstrate safe, consent-forward, empowering, healthy kink/BDSM as a dominant/top. It wouldn’t take long for her to recognize how terrible that story is.

    Consent forward kink/BDSM practices include immediate and extensive communication about interests and scenes, and actual negotiation, before anything actually happens. If that turns her off, I’ll walk, but in my experience it’s never turned anyone off. Quite the opposite. Experienced kink women know to expect that, and neophytes immediately understand that this is the way it’s supposed to be.

    (Still, I upvoted your choice, because for a woman seeking a man this is a massive red flag, and a male/dominant who loves that story is unlikely to ever be willing to learn/change.)