Long story short, I was guilt tripped for 3 years into coming home. I think the reason is that I’m from a small family.
Anyways, when I finally caved in and said I’m coming back to stay with family for a while, they complained so much about putting me up and just made me feel as if I was begging. When I told them that I had spent loads of money on plane tickets and even took unpaid leave from work, they told me ‘it’s not all about you’
My mum asked my brother behind my back whether I was giving him any money for the 15 minute lifts he offered to give me in his car, and when I confronted her about it, she said ‘we all have our own lives and problems to deal with’ in a really pissed off tone.
It feels that even after flying to the other side of the world to see them, they want me to go the extra mile rather than just supporting me when I’m on their side. Asking for support seems like an insult to them.
I dunno, it was just a really unpleasant experience and I feel that they’re telling me to come back whilst pushing me away. I feel that although my family say that my move abroad made them depressed, upset etc, they’re unwilling to put in the support to have me here.
I’m happy in my new country and didn’t even really want to go back. I went back for them only, but it’s like they’re expecting me to pay for literally everything and then just complain when I ask one of them to lift a finger to help.
MY QUESTION: Would you go home for a family who ‘misses and loves you’ and ‘felt depressed when you left’ even if you had to pay for basically everything and have barely any support from them? Is it really our responsibility to go home, or should we just continue our lives without looking back?
Well this just sounds straight up awful. So no I think you should just do what makes you happy because clearly they want you to feel miserable. But look even if you have the best family in the world, you likely spent the first 25 years or so of your life around them. Our lives are so short, everything requires a sacrifice. If you want to see the world and do things differently then you have to make that choice. Your parents had their chance, made their choices, lived there lives the way they wanted to, to the best of their abilities. It’s crazy for anyone to tell you that you can’t have the same choices.