I’m just a bit heartbroken and could do with some support.

My partner and I met in a country that we both are not from (I’ve been here for most of my life, but it is notoriously difficult to get permanent residency here so I am on a work visa). We’ve been dating for a year and he’s everything I’ve wanted, and more.

We’ve had a couple of difficult conversations over the last few days and have realised that there’s no way to make this relationship work. I want to move to a country that he has no interest in going to, and vice versa.

I don’t know how to deal with the pain of knowing that this was the right person, just the wrong time. On top of that, is this my fate as an expat? Should I only date once I know where I want to “settle down”, so to speak?

  • pricklyvagina@alien.topOPBEnglish
    1·
    10 months ago

    He is not at a place where he’s making plans with us in mind. And he’s told me several times that I should not be doing that either.

    Feels like a pretty clear sign that the relationship has run its course. I would’ve been happy to meet him halfway, but was starting to feel like I was the only one willing to put in the effort.

    • gigi_skye@alien.topBEnglish
      1·
      10 months ago

      That seems similar to my situation. My partner was not ready to commit to a place, I was not in his future plan and I couldn’t move at the time (waiting for citizenship), hence why we did long distance. We practically took a break there while he went back home as his work visa ran out and he didn’t want me to sponsor him.

      I believe if it is meant to be, it will be. We continued keeping in touch and took turns visiting each other for a year and a half. We weren’t interested in dating other people so it was ok.

      Then we decided it’s time to have a baby and planned our next move. My son is now 6 months old and we are moving back to my country. We have about 4-5 years before our baby goes to school to decide where to settle so plenty of time.