I’m just a bit heartbroken and could do with some support.
My partner and I met in a country that we both are not from (I’ve been here for most of my life, but it is notoriously difficult to get permanent residency here so I am on a work visa). We’ve been dating for a year and he’s everything I’ve wanted, and more.
We’ve had a couple of difficult conversations over the last few days and have realised that there’s no way to make this relationship work. I want to move to a country that he has no interest in going to, and vice versa.
I don’t know how to deal with the pain of knowing that this was the right person, just the wrong time. On top of that, is this my fate as an expat? Should I only date once I know where I want to “settle down”, so to speak?
There is no right or wrong answer here. I have been where you are and it’s world-shattering. Especially when it’s something as simple as geographic location that’s the problem.
Having seen this happen a few times, I have to ask, are you two getting too far ahead of yourselves? Are you both that set on your future homes? Is this something that’s going to happen in the near future or 5-10 years down the road? Reason I’m asking is that I’ve seen people make these decisions prematurely, only to realize of they had seen it through, a couple years down the road they would have been aligned.
As for dating in general, there are never any guarantees. Meeting the right person wrong at the wrong time can occur regardless of whether or not you’re expats. It just has a higher probability if one or both of you are in a transitional phase. Does that mean you should put your dating life on hold? No, because you never know who you’re going to meet and whether or not it works out.