I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?

  • velma@sh.itjust.works
    31·
    9 days ago

    I promise you I don’t accuse people of rape and would never. I really was going to leave the convo there, but saw your edit and do want to reassure you.

    That’s fucked up and I’m sorry you went through that.

    • rabber@lemmy.caEnglish
      2·
      9 days ago

      I think you read my thread about losing all my friends. Yeah i was falsely accused of rape and almost lost everything. Time has passed and I am still wished dead by many. I haven’t found any way to defend myself or redeem myself. Nobody will ever believe me. Thanks for your words. Shit sucks.

      I agree with your view on women being oppressed, but holy hell, being the man in this particular situation is plain unfair. It’s a miracle I didn’t kill myself

      To be clear I didn’t “go through it” - this is going to follow me for the rest of my entire life I think.

      And I know for a fact you aren’t this evil because a narcissist would never carry themselves the way you do. They pretend they are harmless until behind closed doors.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
        31·
        9 days ago

        I’m really glad you’re still here. Yeah that really sucks and no one deserves to go through that. It’s not a suffering competition, no one wins for additional suffering and I truly view that for everyone. Even the guys I might hold in some contempt lol

        Not that you want any advice from a 40 year old queer mom, but have you looked into moving to a different city? Sometimes a fresh start is worth it. You’re worth it.

        • rabber@lemmy.caEnglish
          1·
          9 days ago

          I wanted to move but I just took out a new mortgage. And also, if I move, I fear it only further “proves” to those people I’m guilty. And I am not. I can not even kill bugs lol

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
            21·
            9 days ago

            Well even if you can’t move, I hope you realize that you don’t have to prove anything to them because they don’t matter anymore in your life. Don’t let them live rent free in your head and yes I know that’s a lot easier said than done lol

            You’re alright, just let me be my grumpy womanly self at rude men and I’ll let you shitpost or whatever wherever you want as long as it’s not in the womensstuff community, deal?

                • rabber@lemmy.caEnglish
                  1·
                  9 days ago

                  The other reason I haven’t move is because there are also a couple of long term friends I miss deeply and I think if I just hold on for a while they will come back around

                  Ex has a new bf who is one of my former acquaintances and I think eventually she will pull the same shit on him and people will see I am not the badman

                  Didn’t originally want to forgive any ex friends but I can totally understand why they took her side (she’s good at this) and I think I’m ready to forgive if they meet me halfway

                  • velma@sh.itjust.works
                    21·
                    9 days ago

                    I hope your friends come back, but y’know I also hope you start rebuilding your life without them in the meantime. You deserve to move on not for their sake, but for yours and your peace.

                    I totally understand missing them.