Time to break out ol’ faithful
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Where can I buy woke water?
The tears of Conservatives
hands down my favorite comment on this post
Too much lead unfortunately
Too salty.
I thought you’d like it salty Mr CumFart
Santorum adjacent for sure anyway.
You still got the title, bud, and believe me, I’ve been thanklessly reading all usernames to make sure. Well done, once again.
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There’s a small craft brewery in small-town Wisconsin that partnered with a coffee roaster to make a canned coffee called “Woke”. The coffee is pretty good, and the beer is damn good.
They piss off the local right-wing government, so they’re constantly getting shut down, but it usually only lasts a couple weeks.
I already love these guys.
“Extinct Elephant.” Beautiful.
https://www.townofminocqua.org/contact-town-minocqua-wi/
I do hope no one clicks that link and flames them
Water works the same no matter gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, age or any other human metric. Water is the wokest thing ever!
You have to collect rainwater and filter it yourself
Only known way for truly ethical water
A true “Patriot” would follow the trail of the filter. Where did the raw materials come from for the filter? where was it manufactured? how was it shipped to the store? Who put it on the shelf? If a dirty librul ever touched it then it can’t be certified as “non-woke”
Not from Nestle
But also from Nestlé. They won’t say no to money.
You can put Going Green on a plastic coke bottle, doesn’t mean it’s green haha. You are 100% right though, Nestle would sell anything they could get their cock holders on
Not sure but the water out of your faucet is much less likely to have something wrong with it and if it is not completely free it is very very close to it.
Sometimes, I wish I lacked a sense of guilt. I could make so much money conning these people…
But then if I lacked a sense of guilt, I’d be one of them.
Mood. Maybe make a bunch of money conning them and donate directly to causes they oppose?
I’d feel guilty just about the lying part to be honest.
If you don’t con them, someone else will. Although their values will usually align so there is that.
It’s not about them.
You are a good person and the revolution needs you.
Thank you.
They just keep fleecing the rubes and the rubes just keep letting them
It looks so easy 😭 I wish I had the starting capital and lack of morals to start one of these grifts.
Just print out the word “freedom” in size 72 times new roman on your printer (doesn’t matter if it won’t fit on one line) and tape it to some blank t-shirts. Go to a Republican event and sell them
New Non-Woke Freedom Shirts! Get your Non-Woke Freedom Shirts!
Snowflakes. Incredibly infantile in their “freedom fries” kind of way.
I hate to say it, but Dems should be trying to reclaim the word “freedom”. It makes absolutely no sense for Cons to be attached to it so strongly. We need more freedom fries and liberty toast.
I think they do, it’s just not repeated ad-nauseam and attached to everything like the Cons do. Free to be LGBTQ, free to read the books you want, free to organize labor, etc… Real, tangible, life-improving freedoms. Cons? All they want is freedom to take everyone else’s rights away. That’s their “freedom”.
But that’s the thing. The Dems want to campaign like they have for the past century, going out and making sensible campaign stops every so often. Obama was trying to change this, and honestly had the right of it - you blast your message everywhere, all at once, KEEP REPEATING IT, and shorten the general gist until it can fit in a meme.
Anti-woke fries.
Black Rifle Coffee, so anti-woke, you’ll go back to bed.
she got the idea for the brand while watching the Republican debates, where she noticed audience members drinking water that had “no connection to the people drinking it.”
They could have been drinking the same water as the blue team. Disgusting.
What’s that, Nestle?
Nope, Nestle is too woke. Anything that doesn’t say “Freedom” is too woke.
Ironic because freedom is also woke.
Pumped downstream of some chemical factories on the great Mississippi river for that slight hint of deregulation flavor.
Same way grandaddy did it!
Now with extra lead!
That’s just what I was thinking. It should contain added microplastics and industrial waste. And it should come in bottles made of plastic that cant’ be recycled and never breaks down. That would be the proper way to support right wing environmental policies. It would also be another “don’t get vaccinated” way for them to kill their own supporters.
Well, that’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of.
And isn’t in the top 10 for these guys.
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I think the way you need to do it is The Onion style of journalism, with a wink and a nod. BUT when your crazy ass right wing theories get shared as “FACTS” on other social media sites you don’t dispute it. I kinda think that is how most right wing YouTubers do it.
Rebooting The Colbert Report
It’s not too late
We’re almost at the “Brawndo” level of Idiocracy.
I liked it better when W.C. Fields was attributed to have said it (although it isn’t definite that he did).
He did say some fun things in about booze in films though:
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
I exercise extreme self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days.
He also once said something serious which is also my own policy:
Hell, I never vote for anybody. I always vote against.
This is their version of corporate pride month merch.
Republicans will buy damned near anything out of spite.
This sincerely might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t even have words anymore
