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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/MadisonBrave on 2024-09-17 16:56:45+00:00.

Original post was made by u/throwrawalkaround. When I reached out to OOP for permission to post any updates to BORU shortly after her first post was made to r/ relationships, she asked if I could post her first post on her behalf to r/TwoHotTakes because her attempt was picked up by the spam filter, and her post to r/ relationships was removed. I posted her first post to r/TwoHotTakes on her behalf, and she answered questions from her account. When she made her update, she was able to post it to herself

Trigger Warning: religious excommunication, religion and politics, physical abuse

Mood Spoiler: sad but hopeful for the future of the kids

Original Post: (July 9th, 2024)

My church’s youth group has a youth band that leads worship during youth, but the church also has them lead worship on Sunday mornings every few weeks (to promote the youth band when the usual worship team has a week off). I’m not in the band, but I often help with lyric powerpoints along with another girl (but not when the band plays on Sundays). The main singer of the youth band is the daughter of a youth assistant, and the daughter is an assistant too (we’ll call her Emma, she’s 20). I’m writing because of what happened the last time the youth band led Sunday worship on 6/30 (that led to Emma and her family leaving the church). In-between one of the songs, Emma said she felt led to say that Christian nationalism “wasn’t of God” because forcing people to believe went against the basis of Christianity because God gave free will and too many Christians forgot that. She also said there would be no short and narrow path if people were forced to walk it before saying Project 2025 was “advertised as Christian but resembled nothing of God” because God never forced people to believe in him.

No one confronted her or anything as it was brief, and they played a few more songs along with the closing song after the pastor finished his sermon. But when we got to youth on Friday night, Emma and her mother weren’t there. And we were later informed (by the youth pastor) that Emma and her mom would no longer be helping the youth before a bunch of stuff about giving others the chance to be lead singers because Emma had left the church. However, word got out from one of the band’s players that Emma told the band that she got banned during the week and that her parents left the church with her, so they already knew before we found out at youth. The reason I’m making this post is because of a conversation I had with the band (and other powerpoint girl) the same Friday the youth pastor announced it, and the conversation was private from the rest of the kids.

Long story short, the band is upset about what happened to Emma, and they’ve been throwing around ideas on what to do. The one they’re heavily considering is a walkout the next time they’re scheduled to play on Sunday after playing the intro song (service opens with an intro song before someone comes onstage to welcome everyone before worship continues), and they would voice support for Emma before walking out together. They haven’t told anyone not associated with the band because they don’t want anyone to spill the deets. But the main thing we’re debating is repercussions from our parents and whether or not it’s worth the risk. There’s likely a few weeks until the band plays on Sunday again, and they still haven’t decided on a new lead singer yet. I also wanna add that the church didn’t upload the worship portion of the service with Emma and only uploaded the sermon from that day (they always include worship on their YouTube upload of the service). Most of the concerns were around tuition punishments as some of them have their parents helping pay, but they still want to do something. And while I’m not in the band technically aside from coordinating powerpoint lyrics occasionally, I figured the least I could do was get advice from other adults anonymously because we don’t want to ask our parents for obvious reasons, and maybe others could see more pros and cons that we can. I appreciate any advice that anyone gives and will relay it to the band too. Thanks to anyone who read this too.

edit: I forgot to add this detail in my post, but the pastor of our church has used the pulpit to speak politics in the past and has even mentioned support of a Presidential candidate on numerous occasions along with other political topics on occasion too (roe v wade & gay rights). So while I agree that politics probably shouldn’t be spoken in church, some of the band said that Emma was tired of the often political topics being brought up during sermons, thus why she said what she said.

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First Update: (July 22nd, 2024)

I wanna thank to everyone who commented on my original post because it was way more than I expected, and many of you had really helpful advice. This is a small update with some really surprising things that happened since. First, the band is still going through with the walkout, and they’re keeping it within the band so that no other kids tell their parents who might tell leaders (it would’ve been awesome to include others, but the risk of the church catching wind was too great). Second, we have a date of 8/4 when the youth band will do worship for the adults again. Third, the youth pastor appointed a singer from within the group who will take turns singing on Sundays with future participants in the coming weeks.

Fourth, the new singer agreed that the church’s handling of Emma was BS. Fifth and most exciting, two of the band members told non-religious relatives about the situation and fear of punishment, and they agreed to come to the service and let them head to their cars in the parking lot straight from the walkout (for safety). They won’t leave the lot in case some parents try to claim kidnapping, but we’ll be in their cars if all goes well, and the rest of us are going to ask our relatives too. Sixth, one of the band members told a teacher they knew from school who’s thinking about coming and walking out too. And seventh, one of the band members wrote a little something that the lead singer will read before they walk off stage, and it would be great if anyone with editing experience could help to make it clearer or provide advice on what to add (they tried to keep it short). I will make a post about their writeup in the near future.

Here’s how we hope it happens. The band will play the opening song (which officially starts service) and usually lets people know it’s starting (many make their way from the foyer during the intro song). And after someone gives the welcome/prayer after the opening song, the lead singer will then give the speech before the band walks off stage, and I will walk out with them from the pews along with relatives/friends. One relative said she might bring some people she knows too (which could make more of a statement to the church to see adults leaving too). One of the relatives will also record the whole thing in case any parents don’t react well to it, and I will update after it happens.

If anyone has any further advice, it would be appreciated, and I’ll bring it to the band. Most of the band (outside of two seniors) aren’t old enough to vote this year, but this is a chance to stand up for what’s right against something that is adamantly infusing itself into Christianity (Christian Nationalism) and making Christianity lose all of its respect in our opinion. We don’t expect change to happen in the church as a result of our walkout, but it’s a small thing we can do to say we did our part when faced with it ourselves. Another commenter put it best when she asked if we’d be able to live with ourselves if we did nothing, and the answer has been no for us so far.

I also wanna add something I forgot to clarify in my first post. Emma didn’t say what she did out of the blue. She had been vocal about the pastor talking politics for some time according to the band, and I’ve seen much of it too. However, a lot of people sent DMs disagreeing with the band’s decision. So before I get into it, I wanna give specifics of what the pastor has done. The pastor mentioned Trump from the pulpit numerous times including the aftermath of the 2020 election to voice discontent over the results. He has also celebrated roe v wade’s overturning from the pulpit, pride month during June, and even compared Trump’s legal trial to how Jesus was persecuted leading up to his crucifixion; things that have no place being vented about from the pulpit, and this has happened over the course of a few years.

I received a few DMs in the aftermath of my first post, and some were encouraging while others not so much. A few people (who said they were Christians) said that Emma was wrong to use the microphone to “hijack the service” with her words because she should’ve talked to the pastor first while calling her actions immature. However, when I showed the band the advice from my posts, I also told them about the DMs, and they said that Emma spoke to a leader about the pastor’s political sermons in the past. But nothing came from it as he continued to spea…

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