• Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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    27 days ago

    So a trans person saying that he is a man, is not a real man? Or more adapted to context, a trans person saying that he wants to feel like a man, is not a real man? and doesn’t deserve to feel like a man?

    I don’t agree with that at all. Weird thing to upvote tbh.

    Edit: Today I learned, when I advocate for trans rights, I get up votes. When I apply the same support to cis men, I get down voted.

    I thought this is a supportive space in terms of gender identity. I guess I was wrong. I will continue to support trans people for the same reasons, I support everyone. Human rights.

    • lad@programming.dev
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      27 days ago

      I’d say it’s rather that a trans person shouldn’t prove anything to anyone, same as cis. If they feel the need to prove, that’s likely because of influence of toxic gender standards

      • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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        27 days ago

        Well I don’t know where you read the proving part. it is about feeling like a gender, not proving that you are. If you want to change topics, sure, we can talk about a different topic. Do you like Chinese food?

        • lad@programming.dev
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          27 days ago

          Do you like Chinese food?

          Yes, I do. I also do think that you were also reading what wasn’t in the thread starter’s post

          • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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            27 days ago

            It is the logical conclusion of comment. Trans men are men. Unless you want to argue that they aren’t. Or that the men in the comments were implied to be cis men and then want to argue that cis and trans people should be treated differently to each other and therefore a trans man have every right to want to feel like a man but a cis man doesn’t.

            • lad@programming.dev
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              27 days ago

              It is the logical conclusion of comment

              No, why?

              Trans men are men.

              Yes. And to be men the don’t need to say that. Visibility is another thing, and in that regard one might argue that they need, but I think that increasing trans visibility is not the same as ‘I am man’ statements

              Edit:

              a trans man have every right to want to feel like a man but a cis man doesn’t

              To this I would also say ‘No’, but I’m starting to guess, we have a very different views on what it is to ‘feel like a man’

              • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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                27 days ago

                Okay the post talks about “needing to feel like a man”. (I am ignoring The comment on the picture because that is not what my issue is. My issue is the general statement in the post of the “aunt” in the picture and The comment section here) The comment is a reaction gifs and I think you agree that maybe you shouldn’t take reaction gifs 100% literally without any adaption to the context. Here the context is men FEELING manly. So I think it is fair to understand it as “if you have to say that you want to feel manly, you aren’t”

                In that context, you can’t remove looking like a man, or maybe doing stereotypical man stuff, or anything that makes that person feel manly. The questions are, of course, what the fuck do you need to feel manly? What causes you to say that? What are you requiring?

                All Women need to submit to you? Well that is completely unreasonable and you are an idiot. Not wanting to have your living room painted in pink, rather reasonable.

                I heavily reject the notion that you or me get to decide what makes someone feel manly. If it is something that would require something from someone else, Of course, there are reasonable requests and unreasonable requests. And you can reject to fulfill them, you can even mock them if you want, but they aren’t less of a man for wanting to feel like one and painting that desire with a broad brush like in aunt’s post is also pretty bad (and probably sexist)

                Maybe we have a different view on what it is to feel like a man. But if that is the case, then tell me, why are we judging men for expressing that they want to feel like a man without asking them what the fuck they mean? Because we would mean different things, so why wouldn’t they mean something else than you or me?

                • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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                  27 days ago

                  I think you’re reading into this too hard. We all know OP posted that image of GOT to refer to the overtly masculine, typically right wing extremist, men. Who make everything they think and do be gendered in the way they think screams, “I am a manly man.” Which in itself probably stems from daddy issues. I genuinely dont think they were referring to trans people at all.

                  • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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                    27 days ago

                    Yeah I am not only talking about trans people though. Cis men can struggle with their masculinity too. And I would give you the “they mean the toxic men with crazy requirements to others” but when we claim that we are about making people feel comfortable and included, which at least I do. Then we need to ask ourselves if there is inclusive language that you should use, is there exclusive language that we shouldn’t use. What is exclusive language? And the answer is e.g. saying that a man that struggles with manliness is not a man. Sure, the suffering of trans men are worse than e.g. a cis man that doesn’t feel manly, but we shouldn’t play the victim Olympics but support each other in our struggles. And a blanket statement that ridiculous men who want to feel manly, is just toxic language. Generalization is the issue. I am firmly in support of people who struggle with gender or ethnicity or anything similar. We are brothers and sisters and I don’t like them bullied. I want them comfortable.

                    If you would be upset over someone making fun of a trans man’s struggle of feeling like man, maybe don’t make fun of a cis man.

                    If you aren’t upset over someone making fun of a trans man’s struggle of feeling like a man, you are an asshole.

    • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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      27 days ago

      The reason you’re getting downvoted is because you seem to be missing the point of the meme and then are getting argumentative.

      • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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        27 days ago

        What is the point of the meme? How is it not ridiculing/dismissing the desire of a man to feel manly? Something that rightfully usually finds support here for trans man.

        • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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          27 days ago

          Because it’s not ridiculing someone for feeling manly, it’s ridiculing the kind of person that goes around stating they’re manly as fuck all the time, going out of their way to show how manly they are and generally making “manliness” their entire personality.

          • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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            27 days ago

            Where does it say that?

            The post in the picture, just completely dismiss any possibility other than a man wanting to feel superior.

            That is the starting point, that is what I am talking about.

            The comment in the picture provides us with a story and context but it is not the same story or context because it is a different user sharing their experience. I have no issue with that.

            The reaction gif is implying that you aren’t a man if you express that you want to feel like one.

            Where does it say that you say it says? Where does it state that it is about making it your entire personality? Where does it say, it is about people who want to show how manly they? Where does it state that they don’t like a man stating that they are so manly? It seems to be about the opposite. A man who struggles with feeling manly. Where does it state that it is something the person does all the time?

            Some of these are inconsequential in some scenarios but all of them highlight how much you read in there that just is not present to justify toxic language and behavior.

            • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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              26 days ago

              The reaction gif is implying that you aren’t a man if you express that you want to feel like one.

              Doesn’t say that anywhere on the gif

              • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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                26 days ago

                You are correct, technically it doesn’t. It is about kings, and the poster tells you to replace king with man.

                Also technically it is saying that a trans person who tells you that they are a man, is not a real man. I mean trans men are men.

                But I don’t think that is a fair reading of the text. But sure you can read the message that I call toxic, as a toxic message to men in general and especially towards trans men. I just don’t see where you want to go with that.

                Alternatively, and admittedly, I am reading it in the context of the post in which it is about men expressing that they want to feel manly. Still toxic, and implicitly transphobic, but at least matching the post.